Note 72

Drinking: Cinnamon and licorice tea

Listening to: N/A

Notable songs: N/A

Hello,

I first stirred to my alarm at 7am. I then promptly went back to sleep until 8:10. It's now 8:30 and I'm starting to write. I don't like writing later because eeverything else gets pushed forward and I feel guilty for being late for all the things in the day. Like I'm constantly playing catch-up. In addition to this I'm still ridiculously tired and nothings happening in my head yet. So far this week I've written every day for the necessary half an hour however because of difficult times between my friends and I, I've left the posts unpublished. This was out of respect for them and so I don't cause them to suffer. I'm not comfortable not publishing every week day. This is because if I don't I'll feel like I've lost the ball with the writing habit because I've made a commitment to myself and now I've slipped on it. Previously I had already reduced the burden from publishing every day to only on weekdays whilst the weekends are for mixed works and more sensitive topics. I don't want to continually ratchet down my commitment until it reaches homeopathic levels.

Yesterday was a better day.

In the morning before breakfast, dad and I travelled to the local farm shop to top up our lacking collection of vegetables. I was a little hungry but not overly. However the main factors that bugged me when I was there was my mouth smelled from the sandwiches I had before leaving the house and I was still bloody tired. The latter meant I was just working off of intuition and what I fancy in the moment. @Next time I would like to bring a list.

Due to the visit to the farm shop, our work day was more truncated than usual. Nevertheless I plugged away. I gave both doors their second coat of undercoat and gave a few wooden beams a coat on all sides too. The beams were fun to paint but the work station wasn't helpful. I had to impromptu figure out how to paint it when it rested on an unstable side. After doing so I placed it on the floor absentmindedly. This meant that detritus stuck to it. @address this somehow

For dinner I was feeling in less of a funk and had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to cook. I made a cabbage and sausage soup with haricot beans, green pepper, celery, onion and garlic.@ Next time I would add more leaves of cabbage (7 leaves +) .

One of the things that bugged me throughout the day was Shattered Pixel Dungeon. I had 1.5 hours to play it in the day. However I was getting sick and stressed from it after less than an hour. @I felt stressed because I didn't have an allotted time of day for me to play it so I felt like I was taking away from more important things and had to play it secretly. In the end I played it for most of the time but I didn't like the constant weighing up of choices. I'd prefer things for me to just be presettled and I could go through the different stages of the day.

I've continued reading the book from David Niven. It's been a rather compulsive read all things considered. I started reading it on Tuesday and by Thurday evening had already read roughly 250 pages. It helps that each chapter is a self-contained short story. This allows me to get the accomplishment feeling quite often for finishing each section as I go. It also gives me closure to individual characters in a satisfying albeit often tragic way. The book is called "Bring on the empty horses" and I highly recommend it.

In the evening a friend of mine was kind enough to shine a light on a rift that had grown between me and another friend. Prior to the conversation I had been terribly stressed, upset and angry. Afterwards I'm more at peace with it. Like with maladapted relationship, once a partner decides that the current situation is untenable, no amount of pleading, guilting needling or demanding will change their perspective. The only true apology is changed behaviour.

As this conversation started late, it ended later. What began at 9pm ended at 10:30pm. Afterwards I had a heart to heart with my dad for half an hour and we discussed more on the topics that came up. This was namely about what I can do outside of our work. That I would like to try my hand at a few jobs. His advice is that same as the last 10 times we had this discussion: that I should get a qualification in something. I think this is important but it depends on what the job is. I think I should bring Alexander Heynes 3:90 method to what job requirments actually are. It simply consists of finding people who work in fields you're interested in and having a few regular conversations with them to see what it's like and what paperwork I would need to begin working.

At 23:07 I went upstairs. I was still reading 40 minutes later. For the last 5 minutes, on recommendation of my dad who just retired to his bedroom, I switched to a different book I had already finished. The book was Entre Nous. It was pleasant as I no longer felt like I was rushing it and it meant I got to revise what I had quickly read on the first pass.

I slept well, but woke to an sore scalp and many loose hairs.

Oh well

I'll see you tommorow.


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