I do walk the line..

..which is a very big problem since I am looking for specialized help. I should listen more at what Johnny says.

That guy from the place I did go for two weeks and was not comfortable to talk with me. This is why the lack of comfort.

Social workers, same issue there.

Psychiatrists, specialists: again!

They are following a guide line, a canvas, a step by step guide, helping them to pose a possible diagnotic.

It looks like an organizational chart with rhombus on it. Each contains questions bringing to a true or false possible answer about a "feeling" that we can or can not control. Depending on the answers received, they are going true or false to the next rhombus, etc.. until they hit a rectangle, telling them possible causes and some treatments. Even there, they are sure of nothing.

I can answer two, three or SEVEEEEEEN questions in an answer, not in the order of their plan, skip somes and come back. I can not follow their flow as they can not follow mine. I am lost, I am trying to find myself and I lose them quickly; they are not able to maintain control of the session.

OK, now.. I have found that place three weeks ago and I have finally found people I can work with.. so they - these people I can work with - exist! Where there is one, there are more, right?

How to find them now..

-FBF