[7:05am] [1/24/19]

I woke up today to blood gushing out of my nose and down half of my face, so that’s great. I hugged her before we left school last night, so that’s good. I thought about her before, during, and after my shower which made me sad, since I’m an awkward person who’s helplessly in love with the least awkward person I’ve ever met, so that’s not as good. her smile is just so adorable and it’s one of the few things that makes me happy every time I see it, so that’s pretty good, but other than that, it’s not good.

every time the two of us are together, I get so stressed out about saying the right thing, about not being awkward, and I keep all of that stress hidden inside me while we’re talking because (1) I don’t want her to know that I’m in love with her just yet, and (2) if I didn’t bottle all of that stress up then I’d explode, so not the best idea to just be myself and look nervous. anyway, I’m having a mental breakdown.

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