[7:56pm] [3/8/19]

let's just
stop me from having emotions anymore
because everything is not good and i really don't like how fUCKING incompetent i am


like why do stella and cici have to be so goddamn cute and rELATED like it would be great if they just didn't know each other at all because then everything would be a lot more simple

like i could just go and make an attempt and the other wouldn't know about it but since they're related i would never be able to just go to the other one if things didn't work out with one of them

this whole situation is just fucked


and don't even get me started on everything else

there's so much shit going on and i don't know what to do about any of it:
- i have zero clue how many people i actually like
> Is it rachel? stella? cici? taylor? fucking, 3 random people i don't even know?
- my gov grade is fucking horrible
- i might be in pit, but nobody has any clue whether that's actually happening, they might just scrap me and hire a professional violinist
- i'm fucking depressed and i don't want to talk about it because the only people who actually care are people that i care too mcuh about to vent to because i don't want them to be worried about me because like i'm fUCKING helpless when i talk to them

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