January 9, 2019•308 words
Since I like my anonymity, Eulalie is not my real name. My real name is a very common one, it's been on the "top ten baby names in America" list since the year 2000, I swear. And it's not that I don't like the name, but it's never felt right at all.
Is that weird? I have been referred to by it and conditioned to it for my entire existence, yet whenever my name is called it feels uncomfortable and awkward. When I write it on paper it just doesn't feel like me. And it's not just me but other people agree that my name does not suit me. My mother even admits to regretting the name she gave me (it was my father's suggestion and she caved).
So, ever since I found out that you could change your name, I have wanted to. But I wanted to wait until I grew into an adult to choose so that I wouldn't pick anything stupid (which was a good idea because I would have picked "Raven" or something equally awful in middle school). I know 17 isn't quite an adult age yet, but I'm pretty sure I've settled on Eulalie, pronounced yoo-lay-lee. I first fell in love with the name when I discovered the poem "Eulalie" by Edgar Allen Poe when I was 12.
I'm confident in this name because I've loved it for years, even when other name ideas came and went. It really feels right and I've never had a doubt about it. It's classic, beautiful and not just a name picked from a list on nameberry.com. I've decided that when University starts I will tell everyone that I wish to go by Eulalie instead of my legal name and see how that goes. Then, if all goes well and it sticks, I'll legally change it later.