may 19 2019

today wasn't anything too special. i vowed that i would organize some porn in my folder, but then didn't. instead i played around with some new phillips hue lights and now my room is fuckin pink (against father's wishes.)

louie apologized for being defensive over something yesterday which confused me more than offended me but i accepted it because i know where he is coming from. him and i talked for a bit and it was nice.

trent was banned from the server finally, so thats something. he's always been kinda annoying and just scraping past rule-breaking.

figured out how to batch-download hundreds of pornhub videos with one terminal command. pretty amazing. soon i'll have all the porn from PH and all the yiff from E621. the world will be, pornographically-speaking, mine!

almost spent my own money today on those lights and the lightstrip but was able to not, so i'm gonna save up. probably for or standard notes extended .^

i've had that weird pain in my groin all day today, the kind that the internet says could be testicular cancer.

that would also explain the occasional headaches i get when i get off (not happening anymore- perhaps is just a benign tumor that only shows up every now and then). wouldn't explain why my balls are tiny tho.

at some point i'm gonna have to talk to mom about getting that fixed, seeing a doctor for- not only discussing srs, but also talking about the weird sexual things... as long as mom is comfortable with me masturbating which honestly... she might not be.

at some point i'm gonna need her alone again to talk about a therapist.

almost finished season 2 of house, and it's only my second day on this season.. at this rate, i'll finish the show in 2 weeks. then ill go back to DitF or something.

still haven't found that coming-out paper, either.

recently i made my wallpaper on my phone solid pink to emphasize my gayness(tm)

every few days i just manage to write more than others. its weird how one day i only have time to write 5 sentences then a few days later i can handle writing... well, this.

sometimes i just let my thoughts spill out onto the page. also more happened today than on some other days i guess.

update as i go to bed: the pain in my groin subsides after orgasm

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