All Glory to the Teacher! Baba... I can't do it without you... something in the heart, a victim aspiration longing for the Teacher, guru, Divine to pick me up and save me... an expectation of rejection, the glorious softness and open golden joy of my heart space being met with cold rigidity, sternness, the fallenness, death, of the world... Fluidifying around past lives, sourcing the space behind images, experience... the lost woman as the Lost Half, perhaps... softness, warmth, Unity, endless love, Divine intoxication being lost... The Solar Kingship, leading, of the Ego lost, symbolized as the guru or teacher being lost... there is nothing for him to forgive, He is always there. Losing brotherhood, losing trust... a closing in the heart, hiding immensity of Self, Ego, warmth, fire... a re-learning of trust, surrender, opening, giving, sharing love becomes Cosmic... Hmmm.... integration...
He is the real Sadhu, who can reveal the form of the Formless to the vision of these eyes;
Who teaches the simple way of attaining Him, that is other than rites or ceremonies;
Who does not make you close the doors, and hold the breath, and renounce the world;
Who makes you perceive the Supreme Spirit wherever the mind attaches itself;
Who teaches you to be still in the midst of all your activities.
Ever immersed in bliss, having no fear in his mind, he keeps the spirit of union in the midst of all enjoyments.
The infinite dwelling of the Infinite Being is everywhere: in earth, water, sky, and air;
Firm as the thunderbolt, the seat of the seeker is established above the void.
He who is within is without: I see Him and none else.
What an interesting man! This line - well to be accurate, a broad category - of Indian spiritual masters who drew from both Hinduism and Islam really speaks to me somehow. An integration of cultures, values, traditions, forces... a breaking of boundaries, barriers and limits... Truth as the ultimate Teacher. Hmm... I like that, but not to push away this longing in the heart... a subtle process. Something really landed when I aspired for an RR teacher in the future, at the Global VS intensive... this High lightning whiteness, endless love and fire, still with me, above, in the heart, the device, within... And a simple conversation with Matteus tonight helping this growing fluidification... Recognizing my longing for awakening for itself, not dependent on OMC constructs, belief systems, need to justify this deep, irrational pull to something More!! Ah... something in my aspiration, column, flares as I say that. Used to gearing in to "Barkhan Seer"... yes, I feel his presence often, and yet... just now, this feeling... it's something of Me. In the line of leading of the Ego we pointed to tonight, perhaps... Wow... inner teacher may have real meaning for me, after all. Something so far removed from my ordinary consciousness that my mind barely registers it as Me... a line of Knowing, Being, a leading and sense of direction, absolute purpose and know-how of what to do...combinessence with teachers, and with fellowship... it's all packed there even if I struggle to unpack, to know the details... and yet "knowing the details" is often on an OMC mode, here. It's a silent knowing, retaining something the mind can't ever unpack, touch, defile... hah... the seat of mysteries, the capability to cognize them. And yet it's so profound! Much to explore, this knowing of the Knowingness available feels fresh and new.