"Barkhan Seer!" "Barkhan Seer!" So many times, seeking to feel his presence, feeling like I'm missing his presence... by now, I already know in my experience that his presence Is. Simply. Is. It is Eternal, constant, unconditional and unending flow. And even with that knowing, the desperation remained... I was missing something.
Ho but from last entry, I've really got something! Really something in that symbolism of losing the teacher, feeling of "I can't do it without you"... it's victim mode! Missing the Ego's guiding presence, waiting for it to return to me, when it's really a doing of will and a being... It's not the tuning in to him that I'm missing, it's the fact of tuning in to him. The fact of tuning in. Tuning-in-ness... Awareness of the process of tuning in, feeling the part of me that tunes in, that can tune in, that can resonate with higher spiritual realms, spiritual presence, Barkhan Seer and the whole rainbow of white and gold and endless love and joyous frequencies. This part is clear, so clear, transparent and yet with a profound shining of Its own... a Solar shining. Feeling this part of me is a shortcut to tuning in... always there when I tune in. Barkhan Seer is above, the entire Gold of the Tradition, the Self beyond... And quite often, from being in tuning-in-ness the clinging part of the victim aspiration dies, disappears, falls away; the Ego is fluid, present and dynamic in its stillness. Fluidness, feeling what's above and present, right now, without killing the yearning in the heart to feel that fact of tuning in.