I am writing to you in English because of the few languages I know, it is the most gender neutral one.
I am exhausted. The list of things that depress me is so long, that I don't understand why I should go to bed tonight, and why I should get up tomorrow. Maybe because somehow, we have to continue? Maybe because there are people I love and people who love me? Maybe because I belong to the most privileged people in this world and should use that privilege to serve the people who suffer from injustice?
I am exhausted by being an artist who has to struggle in this capitalistic world, by being in a capitalist world at all, at a time where right-wing bullshit leaders are at the head of the US, the UK, Poland and many other countries, but mostly in a racist world. I am so tired, inside my big house with no income and yet no financial trouble because my parents can support me. And I can't even imagine how it is for others who have to endure more. People from countries with wars, refugees, blacks, people who got raped, tortured, or had to watch other people get raped, tortured or murdered. I am angry at this world with all those entitled assholes, with the police forces from both my countries voting far right, sometimes even destroying evidence of discrimination.
Why? It makes no sense. I am impressed by all those who keep faith and hope, and find the energy to still fight, point out, correct the mistakes or actions of the unaware or, worse, those who don't mean well. Those who still have energy to fight even though Trump wasn't impeached and Johnson got reelected.
I am tired of this bullshit and I can't imagine living one more day, let alone have children, raise them, and teach them how to deal with all this. So, if you also feel like all of this is bullshit, well, you're not alone.
If you have ideas on what to do, please write me. In the meantime, I'll try to calm down with this: https://youtu.be/ClYpJC-6HFM