chowder

@chowder

#100Days

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A rollup on the frustrations of doing dev in a bigCo.

get to the office
swipe card at gate
sirens wail in the distance
gate catches fire
shuts on kneecaps
drag self to elevator
seven people jam in ahead of you
press 27
goes directly to 48
then 2
then 48
drag self down fire escape
push on door, doesn't open
pull on door, doesn't open
push on wall, it opens
get to desk
chair breaks
desk breaks
shoes explode
raise helpdesk ticket, ticket breaks
internet explorer 5 freezes
hard drive ejects from laptop
log onto Citrix portal
it's in Finnish
phone tech support
undersea cable bitten by shark
cable catches fire
shark catches fire
satellites fall from orbit
try print help guide
swipe card on printer
sirens wail in the distance
toner cartridge ejects through wall
printer catches fire
raise ticket for vendor to put it out
vendor sells us a fire station
fire station caches fire
switch to pen and paper
pen breaks, paper breaks
rival department owns handwriting
give up, go out for coffee
coffee shop bluescreens


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