On Stoics

I have considered other people as "relaxed" when they were actually being stoic, now I understand. I have always felt some admiration for that kind, I tagged them sometimes as "different" but attractive. That, "I don't know how they do it" mixed with "I would like to be that way, but I am scared".

While trying to meditate my train of thoughts goes, who do I think I am to allow myself this disregard for things that are apparently so important? Am I so entitled?
Return, listen to the surroundings, pay attention.
How do you know that, the thought you are not paying attention is not more important? And there the loop goes, sometimes I stop.

My meditation works better when moving, walking, running cycling, cleaning, cooking or fixing some mechanical system. Better than sitting still. In the pure sense of "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance", get to the activity and merge with it, pure gumption.