the overflow of my brain
369 words

Nothing

I have spent the last hour doing approximately nothing. That's a shame, seeing that I have so much I should be doing. I can't get myself into the right headspace.

Does anyone have any tips for me? You can't leave comments. Hmm.

Scunnered

At the start of this new lockdown I feel, to quote Nicola Sturgeon, "scunnered." I don't feel like I have much in me. Whether it is the sense of the unknown - will the kids go to school? when will they go to school? will it be hard to get them to go to school? - or just the change in general to how it was back in March - I feel empty. But I have to give. There are people who need encouragement and apparently I am the one who has to give it to them. Is that right or wrong? I feel like I need a break and it is day one.

I am not sure what to expect

When we were locked down in March last year, it had surprising novelty factor. Flour ran out in supermarkets. That was fun. We baked bread with no flour. Schools were shut. That was not so much fun, but we enjoyed home-schooling at least for a couple of weeks. My wife and I are both key-workers but taught our children for months. Too long, probably. We eventually caved and sent them to school two days a week before the summer holidays started.

This time I am just not sure what to expect. I am imagining that flour will be in stock. I am not imagining have to queue for one hour to get into Tesco. But then again, who knows?

Something else that happened early in last year's lockdown, April to be precise, is that I contracted... shingles. Again. The stress of my “vocation”, plus other influences, got to me. I had no coping strategy. I had nothing to keep myself afloat. And so my skin/immune system kind of just gave in. After that, I found several things that helped keep me sane. I might share those things at some point, if I remember.

But meanwhile, I get the feeling that writing here regularly is going to pretty cathartic. Is that the right word?