No me quiero morir como un maldito cobarde

Quiero al menos poder decir que lo intenté. ...
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Statistics Are For Machines and Idiots

You think you're smart knowing that the statistics say that having a gun in one's house poses a higher risk for one's family than potential intruders. And you may be, but you're really stupid if you think you're going to convince anyone not to have a gun in their home with that tidbit of information. We all think statistics don't apply to us (and to tell you the truth they don't, but that may be stuff for another post). The smoker, the gambler, the guy who religiously buys a lotto ticket every w...
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Depression is a bitch

and so is resistance come on guys we can do this "with the flick of an eye you finally see the light" and once you see the light be all over it and don't let go depresh will come back, but the further you get while on the light, the easier it'll be to climb back i believe in you ...
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YouTube Is Out to Get Me

YouTube wants to kill me, so does my neighbor, the garbage truck's driver, porn, the Microsoft corporation, I just got two blue screens of death in the last week, you motherfuckers The seasons, particularly winter and its bullshit: cold, snow, ice, chapped lips, the furnace My employer, the government, Too much and too little Up and down My bed is too cozy The whole internet is too interesting I have ideas to write but everything's been written Dead writers are out to kill me I want to write, b...
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My Neighbor Is Out to Get Me

He wants to kill me Do I sound paranoid to you? He's not cleaning the snow from the sidewalk in front of his house! He's going to give me a heart attack He does it so I don't stop thinking about He does it so I don't write He is Resistance He is Neurosis He lives inside my head ...
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Capitalism and the Race to the Bottom

Is the minimum wage good or bad? A few years ago Chipotle announced that it had partnered with the City of Denver to provide low-rent housing to its employees. Some people, who I suspect are not habituated to reflecting, cheered the move, even though 1) it was a clear admission that Chipotle does not pay a living wage to some of its employees, and 2) it had ensnared the city on a scheme to use tax-payer money to pony up for the difference.Evidently, the minimum wage is not sufficient. The threa...
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Ando Perdido

Ando pinches perdido. Estoy escribiendo todos los días pero no estoy seguro de que esto vaya a algún lado. Supongo que yo lo voy a tener que dirigir hacia alguna dirección, pero no sé a dónde quiero ir. Mi meta en algún momento es escribir un artículo para una publicación. Pero ando muy pinche apático. Un día me siento chido, voy bien, llevo una dirección, estoy respetando mi arte, pero otros días me siento perdido. Estoy siguiendo el método de Julia Cameron, El Camino del Artista, y ella dice q...
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Just Write

I'm taking the #100days challenge, trying to write one blog post at least once a day fof 100 days. Part of the goal is to make you write even when you don't want to, even when you don't have any ideas, or when you just want to go to bed after avoiding the blank page all day long. So, here I am, with nothing to say except that I have nothing to say. Mission accomplished. :) ...
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Note 28

How I'm increasing my productivity. First of all, I'm recognizing that I have a problem. It looks obvious to me now, but for two years I thought I was being smart. The problem is this: I am mortgaging my future in order to pay for short term self-indulgence. My solution Track focused work Focused means no distractions Focused means meaningful: work directly related to my top priority projects Focused means it has a clear objective: a concrete result (blog post, song, etc.), or builds up my ...
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The Path to Self-Destruction is Easy

Destruction is easy. Working with entropy is easy, it's the downward flow, you just let yourself go. Destroying yourself takes one second. A life of building something requires years of discipline, even just to keep yourself alive. Bemoaning that things don't go your way is old, it's easy, it's been done a million times. Self-actualization may seem an act of self-centeredness but it's the opposite. Is the recognition that we didn't come here to indulge in our basest desires, it's the recognition...
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Waiting for something or someone to fix us up is a bitch

But sometimes we just can't stop it can we? ...
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El Último Suspiro

Arnoldo Hams dio su último suspiro el 20 de enero de 1548. Él inventó la rueda de la fortuna para darle un beso a la muchacha que le gustaba. La invitó y en lo más alto de la máquina, Arnoldo, con toda su timidez, y sin haber logrado decirle una palabra a la muchacha cuyo nombre no quedó registrado en los libros de historia, acercó sus labios a la cara de la muchacha quien volteó la cabeza y se alejó tanto como le fue posible de Arnoldo, en un gesto que hizo parecer que prefería ser lanzada del ...
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Don't Try

"Don't Try" – Charles BukowskiArt and creativity is like dating. If you try too hard, it shows. But you still have to put yourself out there. It's a numbers game. It's about showing your face until you feel comfortable doing it without regard for the outcome. On the other hand, it doesn't necessarily mean presenting your warts up front. It's about finding the balance between hiding them and putting them in people's face.But most importantly, don't try to skip the part where you make all the mist...
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Reckoning With the Cost of Self-Indulgence

“The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.” – David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest Exactly two years ago I read The 5-Hour Workweek. A book to help you "escape the 9-5" and join the "new rich." The goal is to do less work for "the man" so you can have more time for yourself.  In a perverse way, I succeeded.  I've created a very comfortable space for myself. I cut the bullshit at work—reduced the number of meetings I attended, quit attending presentations and webinars,...
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Part X - Resistance

Part X will haunt you to the end of the world and it will destroy you as it has destroyed countless others. You think you're special? That this can't happen to you? That's exactly how you'll get undone. The road to hell is paved by the hubris of amateurs. The pro understands that she doesn't know a thing, until the end. In fact, the less she knows the better. She lives for just another day to do her job. Like AA members, you've won the battle for today—at most. For the next few minutes, most l...
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Fight for your life

It's the only one you have Don't let it go to waste Don't let it go down the drain Don't just stand there Do something Create something There's no merit in consumption There's no merit in cheering from the stands (unless someone from your family is in the field) Create or go stale There are no in-betweens ...
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Not Feeling It Today

I'm in transition. I'm neither here nor there. It's the Bardo. It's painful. Hunger drove me here. The movie Moana made me realize how courageous explorers are. Imagine the time before we had maps, just venturing into the unknown, fearlessly. Will there be food? We don't know. I'm trying to muster one tenth of that courage. My fight is against my own demons, my fears. Today, I'm not feeling it. Neither here no there. Tomorrow will be another day. ...
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Intuition

We are all able to speak to God. Art is one of the laguages we use to communicate with God. Art is one of the ways in which God communicates with us. It's a two way street. Oh, and by God I don't mean a old, white dude in a white robe. It's a side effect of the widespread acceptance of the Eurocentric version of Christianity that I need to clarify what God I'm talking about. This is a God with no face and a million faces. This is the God that lives inside each of us, a God with no church, a God...
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Artificial Intelligence Is Not Coming For Your Job

Capitalism is coming for your job. Debates about where AI is going and where our society is going are framed as if we were spectators and not creators. Not a coincidence, since we've been socialized and brain-washed as consumers since we were kids. Where our society is going is not inevitable. Our job is not to find mitigation mechanisms, but to decide collectively where we want to go. The steering wheel will not be handed to us, we'll have to fight for it. So, where do we want to go? Now, u...
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The Road to Self Actualization

I'm committed to self-actualization. Some people realized early in their lives that they wanted to be pianists or engineers. It took me decades to recognize it, but my call has been self-actualization since an early age. I grew up in a dysfunctional family (haven't we all?). I was miserable sometimes, but I always knew that there was a better way. I wouldn't put it that way at the time, but I had an intuitive understanding and belief in what Buddha identified as the Four Noble Truths, namely, ...
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Evolution, Random Process or Not?

The "scientific" perspective today is that evolution happened randomly. This means that all the biological mutations that culminated in humans appearing on Earth happened by pure chance. Humans believe that their buildings and technologies are the products of chance. Just kidding. We see our creations as the result of the most exquisite intelligence: ours. However, we don't see ourselves as the creation of an intelligence, but pure chance. Is there a contradiction here? Our creations pale in c...
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Science, Materialism and Capitalism

Capitalism requires materialistic individuals whose validation and sense of meaning come from the outside. The powerful forces within us can and will destroy capitalism. Meanwhile, we are helpful workers and consumers desperately trying to fill the void within us with stuff. For every one of our spiritual, mental and physical needs there's a response from the market. Middle-age male insecurity? We have testosterone replacement therapy and all sorts of bullshit to regrow your hair. Teenage angst?...
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El Sermón de Pocajuntas

El Tlacayo Sintaleca subió al Monte Congéneres a compartir su Sermón del Siervo Ambiestalista frente al Hermano Sol y la Hermana Armadilla. Debido a que el Sol no habla y las armadillas no escuchan bien en general (la más conocida de las especies de armadilla endémicas al continente Terrestre, la armadilla Fileta, tiene uno de los oídos más exquisitos del reino animal, el cual puede compararse con el oído de los murciélagos avispos de la Selva Negra, lo cual ha popularizado la especie de que las...
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Myths the Amateaur Lives By

The amateur wants to stay an amateur. Becoming a pro is a decision. Like cutting your hair, you either do it or you don't. If you're asked "did you cut your hair," saying "I'm working on it" is not a reasonable response. The amateur has good excuses: Originality is paramount. Mediocrity is shame. The amateur lets perfection paralyze him. The amateur is either a great genius or nothing, and so the amateur choses to be nothing. Amateurs let fear destroy them. Every day, their choice is the same. ...
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The Appeal of Conspiracy Theories

Facts are hard. Going to college is hard. Consider a high-school dropout, full of himself. The last thing he tells his classmates is "you'll see!" But life is tough. Life does not give a shit about your dreams, only your hard work. This guy is all talk and no action. His dreams accumulate but he's still an "associate" at Walmart at age 39. The chance to go back to school is still there but he's not going to take it. If he didn't push forward when it was easier, he won't do it now. And he's ...
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Don't Dream Don't Dare

Don't dream don't dare Stay where you are. Don't think your own thoughts use the ones we provide Don't let dissatisfaction with your life take over buy purchase consume stockpile be afraid Afraid of the future Afraid of your neighbor And whoever is not your neighbor Go to the right school, say the right things, get the right job Believe in safety Being unnoticeable will keep you safe Fear death, don't think about it Keep your mouth shut Don't distract Don't get distracted Above all, igno...
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Liberated from Eden II

God created woman and man and gave them everything. They didn't want to listen to the snake. God killed them, they were too weak. God created woman and man and gave them everything. They killed the snake. God killed them, they were too reckless. God created woman and man and gave them everything. They said yes to the snake, even if only by a whisker. God recognized art and ingenuity in them and opened the gates of Eden--They could handle freedom. ...
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Liberated from Eden

I was gifted with the curse of writing Condemned to creative thirst, like the rest of my brothers and sisters I was cursed with the gift of art Privileged by creative thirst, like the rest of my sisters and brothers I was expelled from Eden To build my own house To plow God's land Thank you, Eve For being the first human with the guts to say yes to the snake ...
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El Teniente McNamara

El teniente McNamara gritó una arenga llena de imprecaciones que movilizó al batallón entero. Los soldados cavaron en las trincheras hasta el descanso de la tarde (durante el que pudieron por primera vez en el maldito día ocultarse de la lluvia) y continuaron después del descanso hasta la noche. A la mañana siguiente la lluvia había inundado las trincheras. El lodo acumulado ocasionó los gritos del teniente. Los soldados regresaron con sus palas a las trincheras. La situación llevaba así mese...
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El Hombre

Jacinto Colombiano le dijo a Úrsula Matamalleres al notar que sacaba unas monedas de su monedero mientras pasaban frente a un mendigo: "Este wei no merece tu dinero. Dale, si quieres, pero él, como todos nosotros, está eligiendo su vida." Y siguió sin detenerse mientras Úrsula donaba su cambio. Esa noche el sudor corrió sin parar por la frente de Jacinto. Se despertó continuamente durante la noche tratando de correr más rápido que sus pesadillas. "El viento no te detiene", escuchaba en la voz d...
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