18 | Philosophy, Prose and Code | Exploring the uncharted waters, living life on the offbeat path.
2,031 words

Sabbatical

I don't normally write this kind of stuff, but I was really angry. So here goes nothing.

This is a story
Raw, painful, gory
It ain't a BT, simply reality
This world that we live in, monsters meandering
Innocent facades in front of their mom and sister
But behind closed doors she begs "rape me mister"
Crying and choking, negative consent
But she'll have to say it or he'll make her repent
Grunting, pounding, sweating like an animal
He rapes his own daughter like her mom's on sabbatical
Which maybe she is, considering the wine
Dulled her to the point where it was all fine
To the point she never heard the sounds coming out
As her teenager's body was taking the full clout
Of her own daddy's weight and guts
Pushing down and into her until he ruts
Like a fucking animal, that's all he is
He won't amount to anything more than this
But what of the girl, destroyed every night?
What will become of her inescapable plight?
Maybe she will be like her mother
Die inside while living like another
Or maybe she will find the brightest of futures
Statistics after all don't paint a bright picture

Personal Hell

Standing at the gates of hell
You'll rip out my heart
Put it on the scales
Weigh it against a feather
Decide, determine, which is lighter

I'm sure my heart will be heavier
Not for my sins, which can
Be forgiven, maybe forgotten
But nothing weighs more
Than the simplest of sorrows

The sorrows of life
Amid the joys
Will outweigh the feather
Tip the scales
Grant me my ticket
To my personal hell

Icarus

The eternal life of cosmic ray
Is something truly mesmerizing
For long before we walked this Earth

And long after we are gone
And every semblance of our
Civilization built on the backs of slaves

Will be undone and returned to dust
For nothing else will remain
Of our modern Ozymandias

Or should we say
We are Icarus
And our wax wings will wane

But even after all the fragments
Of our ephemeral lives
Vanish into nothingness

All the figments of our imaginations
And all the mental monsters made manifest
Will all be gone, reduced to naught

The cosmos, with its cosmic rays
Will never notice we are gone

Bridges

In the city of falling bridges
I'm far away from my amour
Because I'll be needing stitches
Before I can even get to her door

In this city of falling bridges
Where love falls apart
I'll try to cross the ditches
So please don't break my heart

Quotes

"When we don't get our way, brick and mortar idols are easier to burn in effigy than abstract movements and concepts."

Push Comes To Shove

I dislike my mother
As she's always pushing me farther
Away from my dreams and away from my goals
Just because I don't fit in the mold
Of the ideal child that she wants me to be
Whom she can brag about when it's time for tea

I defy conventions
And do what I want
But her emotional manipulations
Are much worse than taunts
Blackmail and narcissism are her traits
And she's masterful at laying the bait

Which makes me cry to no end
And die inside, though she says she's my friend
But she never supports my endeavors
Though she gladly brags of the fruits that they bear
Indeed I feel like just a proxy
Through which she can live vicariously

I dislike my mother, and that is a fact
No amount of convincing is ever going to change that
Because families are of three types after all
And now my back is against the wall
All I wish is to be left to do what I love
But sadly, now, it seems that the push has come to shove

Sentiment

If only sentiment,
Brought you within
centimeters of my reach
Then of course I won't lament
Because your presence brings me peace

Rain

The night sky and I
Are not the best of friends
For as the crow flies
Her shade shifts to the reds

Melting into gray
Hinting at a downpour
But as breaks the day
I'm betrayed by my amour

For the ground is hard as stone
The rain won't come anytime soon
And I am left alone
In the scorching heat of noon

As I walk through the lifeless
Streets of the city
The heat makes me listless
And I can feel the decay

As my body begins to melt
And my sweat begins to rain
Dripping into the asphalt
I precipitate my pain

And gripe about the monsoon
To an audience of empty streets
I wish it would come soon
Because my sweat pours down in sheets.

Fresco

Every night you're not beside me
I miss you so much that
My soul entirely
Hurts

As it recalls the delirious feeling
Of your body on my own
All your beautiful
Curves

As if sculpted by a Renaissance
Artist after so many
Tiring sleepless
Nights

And the look in your eyes as
They reflect the light like
The Sistine Chapel's
Frescoes

And the twists and turns of
Your selfish mind were
The last straw
That night
Goodbye

To My Love

It would be a dream to hold you
From dusk to dawn
Until the sky turns gray again
And never let go because I'm certain
That I'll never find someone like you again

Wishes

Would I be happy
If I could forever
Give up the melancholy
That unfulfilled wishes bring?

It's not that they are unfulfilled
Rather they are set in points
Far away in time
And as the days blend into each other

It seems as though
Those wishes will take
An eternity longer than life
To fully materialize

Maybe giving up wishing
Would not be so bad
And living a life of contentment
Might not make me sad

But this sadness that is born
From wishes unfulfilled
Does give birth to a certain hope
Which promptly gets killed

By society and circumstance
Which rule over me
Maybe if I gave up wishing
Then I would be truly free.

Noctis

One night, she came to me
And made my world her own
I am Noctis, said she nonchalantly
I am here now

Her tone of voice, nor her intentions
Were understood by me
Though she could have been malicious
I still felt quite free

Every night, she came to visit
As consciousness sliped away
And she held my hand
Until the light of day

At first light she would disappear
As ethereally as she had come
And no trace would be left of her
To welcome in the dawn

As she visited every night
We conversed more and more
And I felt my body lighten
Though it was still sore

Some nights, nonchalant Noctis
Would materialize from inside me
Escaping my subconscious
And bring me a nosegay

And tell me not to worry
In her usual manner of speech
For a moment, she would seem motherly
Yet she would still be out of my reach

I could not touch her, though
As she held me in her gentle embrace
And darkness would flow
And circulate away from my consciousness

Noctis, to me, was always an enigma
And I grew quite fond of her
Though her ethereal being bore an unspoken stigma
Almost as if she was afraid to be there

Seventeen days ago
I turned off the electrical light
I went to bed, without much uproar
But no Noctis came that night

She never came back
Without any warning
My oasis of affection
And I was left mourning

Donne's Dream

How do the tragedies
Of a million lives unknown
Fill my head with maladies
Uncannily set in stone?

How does the long-lost feeling
Of a longing so profound
Become, itself, oh-so-appealing
That my priorities come unwound?

There is a brotherhood
Unique to our holocene
Truly, no man is an island
As Donne had imagined in his dreams

To be incomplete, forever
Is the fate of the Human Endeavour.
And though the spectacles have been sublime
Empathy has not been washed away by Time.

A Day Like Any Other

2/7/18

There is a certain air

That lurks about today

A feeling of despair

That I can't quite shake away

I feel that I will be able

To face the challenges ahead

If only my thoughts remain stable

"I can do it", so I said

I believe in no god

Yet there is something left unsaid

Even if all my endeavors end up to be for naught

I will never stop moving ahead

Today

There's days like today
That I hold very dear
It's not yet May
But the heat's already here

And on days like these
The afternoons feel endless
I wander through my mind's maze
Time passes by, effortless

But on today especially
I wanted the afternoon to stretch on
Like a dream, fantastically
Unfortunately, life goes on