Yesterday's total screen time (mobile/desktop): 10h 37m
So it only took me one day of screwing around before I realized that yeah, maybe it's better to have some restrictions in place. I mean, look at yesterday's screen time bro. 10 hours? Yeah I can't be doing that lol. I'm still going to allow myself to tinker. I'm looking forward to the new phone and exploring new FOSS software to use. I don't exactly want to go full on geek mode though. I recognize this was a large part of my past, but for right now, this tinkering is part of a plan that I've been waiting to act on for a while. And then when I feel satisfied enough, that will be it. I don't see myself being entirely off the grid, but I definitely aim to erase all my information from the hands of advertisers and large corporations. With that said, instead of Manjaro KDE, which was too flashy, I decided on Linux Mint XCFE. Customization is a rabbit hole, and I don't want to get too connected to my laptop by means of personalization. It's for school, it's for other tasks, and that's it. I'm using Windows for school stuff and Linux Mint to allow myself to indulge in digital media. I'm using FreeTube distraction-free mode, subscribed to only 8 channels (which focus on self-improvement/spirituality) and a VPN/Transmission to download movies from arrrr! bay. I'm also allowing myself to listen to mental health podcasts on my phone. I think this is a good change; I was going crazy otherwise. I'm too hard on myself, and expect to be productive all the time, but that's not how a human being works. I need downtime to explore, but in a healthy manner - an exploration that's centered to my goals, not looking at memes or pure entertainment (social media, Reddit and the YouTube website are still banned, except for 5 min a day on /r/nosurf just to keep up with the community).
With that said, I'm aiming for a mindset shift. I talk a lot about how I hate college and the workload, and I do. But I think instead of waking up stressed about it, I'd rather wake up and be stressed about the things that matter - "did I get a workout today? Did I wash my face today? Oh, I better do that!" I'm going to start putting myself first always, and not some stupid assignment. I've gotten straight A's every semester and it means absolutely nothing. IT'S NOT WORTH IT! And starting next semester, I'm taking the bare minimum to be considered a full-time student (12 cr.) instead of attempting to challenge myself (in comparison, last semester I took 17 and this semester I'm taking 16). Sure, I'm challenging myself academically, but at what cost? It's about time I challenge myself mentally, physically, and spend time actually doing things. Being out in the world. Not having my nose in a book. This is why I hate academia. Super overrated. If I didn't need a degree for what I want to do, I wouldn't even be in college right now.
Nonetheless, this is what's been going on with me. I actually got a workout in today, after 2 weeks of being depressed and dormant. And I feel good. It's about time I start picking me. As for right now, I'm gonna read a bit and head to bed. Tomorrow, after getting some work done, I'm letting myself watch some YouTube and a movie. I earned it.