April 15, 2021•332 words
Big news! I managed to exercise for the third time today. Well, I have been planning to get back to working out after I lost my streak last February but I just can't bring myself to do it. I am so happy for myself because finally, my life is moving forward. I don't even remember how. I just woke up one day and did it.
Exercise is really important to me. The truth is, I am most insecure of my body. I have a lot of things I wish I have and didn't have. One thing is the fact that I am skinny-fat. I've had this body since I was in grade 3 and it's the reason I wasn't able to wear the clothes I want. Even until now, I haven't tried wearing one. And since pandemic started, my body started getting worse - at least in my perspective. I tried to stay in shape but I just can't stick to it. One reason is the fact that I was always distracted. And the other one is that my mental health isn't just doing good that time that I can't bring myself to do anything.
It's easy to tell people to accept their bodies and be confident but for the person being told, it's difficult to apply that. Plus, it doesn't necessarily bring people happiness. It's not a one-size-fits-all mindset. No matter how much people say, they can't convince me to accept that it's okay as I don't feel energized without exercise, I cant do heavy work without getting tired easily and I can't wear my dream clothes. It really depends on people on how they view health and fitness. As long as the reason isn't because of other people, it should be okay if some people like me just won't settle with that mindset.
I'd love to talk more about my views regarding fitness but maybe next time. It's 3 AM and I have to attend work so I should sleep.