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5/15/2019, 4:52 PM

5/15/2019, 4:52 PM

It's the holidays and I'm currently waiting for the results of the Financial Aid from the school.
If I can get the FinAid, I can go to Shanghai for Internship, and I will have to fly by early July.
My pay is freaking low though; compared to others who don't even get pay, I am getting lesser aid by $400... Those with no pay automatically gets $1500 from the school as a compensation. So because my pay only gives me about $1000+ and with the lack of the compensation... I am losing out.

Plus, my family is facing financial issues now:

My mom is the sole bread winner and today she's working 12 hours, from 5am to 5pm. She's just a stall assistant, and earns less than $1.5k monthly.
My father doesn't want to work anymore due to depression.
My brother is relaxing because working is tiring, so after he lost his job because the branch closed down, he's jobless. It's been more than one month.
And why is his girlfriend still living with us? She's not paying rent, my brother also refuse to let her leave, and my mom always comes to my room and tell me how she wish the girlfriend moves out. I keep telling my mom that she should use her authority and let them know what she thinks, but she's scared of creating dispute. So all I can do is listen to her rant.

I've applied for translation jobs, but I'm still waiting for the test results. I really hope I get them so I can do it even while I'm in China, since it's a freelance job where I can do anywhere. Looking for jobs is hard when you can only commit for a month or so.

I half wish I can go, because this is such a rare opportunity.
But I also half wish I don't go, so I can lesson the burden on both me and my mother.

I have to go to Japan for exchange next year and it'll cost way more than China since there's no financial assistance from the school. I applied for this long ago before father retired, and I can't really back out due to the penalty fee. Neither do I wish to back out of this contract because I really love Japan, much more than China.

If only I were rich.
If I were rich, I can pay for my own school fees.
If I were rich, I can let my parents retire earlier.
If I were rich, I can send my father for therapy.

But after every storm it will be sunny.
So I'll do my best and pull through this tough period!

Then again, perhaps if it's confirmed that I will be going China, I will try contacting the school and ask if I can terminate my Japan contract...
The Japan exchange will cost me probably $6k~$8k, I hope not more... since it's only four months.
The China internship will cost a rough estimate of $10k to $12k, but I think it'll be less if I don't go to expensive places or eat expensive food.
Also, the China trip will only cost us around $3k and not the full $10k or so because of the financial assistance.

$3k VS $6~8k
China VS Japan
Internship VS Exchange

The obvious choice is China...


Outlander by Diana Gabaldon now


Finished 《六爻》 a few days ago.

I started reading "Outlander" by Diana Gabaldon. It made me realise how much vocab I didn't know, and have forgottong from not having touched a book for so many years. The theme in this book is quite refreshing after reading so much about Chinese culture and Taoist-themed historical romance.

Has anyone read the book? It'll be nice to get recommendations on similar stories.

《六爻》 now


Been reading the book for a while now. It starts of slow, but it gets more interesting. Still reading it!

Super duper tired. What's a break when you have so many things due right after? I would rather they spread it out. It's like the calm before the storm... Hell week's coming.

Also, I hope I get that internship.



读的时候总是想起墨香铜臭的 人渣,魔道,天官。





明天19日是吧!Yakuza Kiwami 就可以玩了!惨了!作业!



I thought spending like $10 on a Japanese novel was expensive. It's just one book out of the many volumes in the series, too. That means I'll have to spend like >$100 if I wanted more than 10 volumes of 転スラ. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Then, I wanted to buy jjwxc credits for the novels I'm reading there. Can't find a way to buy without a China bank... so I am forced to use the PayPal method.
17USD, no other choices. Ended up buying them for $23.95 in my country's currency. ( ̄  ̄|||)
If foreign banks are accepted there, I would only have to spend $20 for the same amount... poor college student problems

At least buying a whole series of about 200+ chapters costs only 2.6k jjwxc credits. I have 10k credits now. ╮( ˘_˘ )╭

That's really cheap compared to Japanese novels.

Some thoughts

2019-02-15 20:54


Reading is an incredibly fast way to level up our language ability.

Reading fun books is even better!

It's amazing when you can feel the changes in a few mere months.
Can't wait to start reading Japanese novels too.

I'm only reading Japanese webtoons/manga, so the improvements are much slower than my Chinese (reading Chinese novels now).

Listening to amazarashi

Can't get over how much I love the band.
Not since they pulled me out of the darkest time in my life last year.

Stumbled upon them when I watched My Hero Academia.
I've never liked a music group so much. It's really...

Kinda regret rejecting the interview for an English major.
Not very sure but I feel it's more useful than a linguistics one.

For what I want to do.

Tired, fun, dilemma

2019-02-10 23:11

Tiring, tiring, but fun day.

Chatted lots with my girlfriends after so long. We exhanged valentine chocolates. Had an enjoyable meal at Salmon Samurai, with my usual choice. $12.90.

Salmon Samurai with Mentaiko Topping

We went to Tom N Toms Coffee for a break. Only $5.80. We had red velvet cake after since we wolfed down this one. Cake was $5.


Am torn between continuing my Japanese classes or stopping it to focus on Chinese and to save up the money for my school exchange.

Reasons to continue:

  • recap of Japanese knowledge
  • get used to reading passages
  • get corrected for pronunciation
  • learn to present in Japanese
  • forces me to at least touch Japanese on a weekly basis
  • the teacher is good

Reasons to stop:

  • save money for exchange/overseas internship
  • can save 3hrs+ of transport to and fro class location
  • can use the time for homework and classes to focus on schoolwork and improving Chinese
  • can self-study Japanese on my own pace
  • money saved from classes could also be used to buy own materials for Japanese, such as keigo books, grammar books, N1 books
  • the grammar and vocabulary sections from Tobira that’s used in the Japanese classes are those that I already know of

What should I do?

I’m thinking next lesson I’ll think about it again and let the teacher know soon after that, so he can open up the slot for interested students. Feels really bad that I’ll be making him lose a student and also since for an ongoing class it is hard to get new students… It’s like taking away the teacher’s income due to my poor planning :c

Update!: I’ll continue the classes.


2019-02-05 18:37


买了$70的魔道的 merchandise... (红包钱拜拜ヾ(•ω•`)o)

《人渣反派自救系统》的番外还没完全地读完,可是有点忍不住开始读 priest 的作品,就暂时放下了。



Update: 最后都退货了,因为店主不大专业,觉得不可靠。也因为是淘宝,万一出事了又不能退货。哭泣
没关系,我会用晋江币来支持作者的 :3


2019-02-04 15:58

Can you tolerate spoilers?

At what point is something someone said considered a spoiler?

I can't tolerate them.

Years ago, I loved spoilers. They saved me time from watching TV series, finish reading books, watching anime, etc, etc.

Then, I met a friend who can't tolerate spoilers. Their hatred for it rubbed onto me and now I can't take them... 哦买噶自从那时就有点狠自己了。

Now, what "level" of tolerable spoilers are there?
1. Some people enjoy knowing anything and everything about a story they are or were into.
2. Some people do not want to know about any character's death or any major plot points.
3. Some people do not want to know what will happen in the story in the future, at all. <- I'm here most of the time.
4. Some people don't even want to know what the consumer is supposed to feel. <- I'm here, for major plotlines.

The stance is that when you get into a story and experience all the ups and downs, twists and turns without knowing what will happen beforehand, the feelings you get are just so much more free and unbiased and intense.

When you know something is going to happen in a story, I feel that our brain just sorts of braces itself for the plot point. The feeling becomes dulled. If someone says a particular story will make you cry a lot, the expectation for feelings that invoke tears will be there. It totally ruins it....!!!!

So, no spoilers please. Nor from me unless requested. Don't tell me about how you feel about a book, movie, anime, comic, etc!! Just tell me the genre and perhaps only the summary of the first chapter/episode or the first few paragraphs. Tell me about the genre, but not when it's a part of a major plot point. I am very sorry, but they just take away the fun from enjoying any story...

For games with stories, don't tell me how many chapters there are (maybe for books too?). Only disclose the rough amount, okay?! Like, "'I Shall Seal The Heavens' has more than a thousand chapters." Mostly for games only, though, as their chapter numbers sometimes betray a lot about the pacing of the story (like Yakuza 0 & FFXV).

It's a very sad thing though. One can't help but feel that people who abhor spoilers are party-poopers, wet-blankets.

However, I can say with confidence that not having spoilers and being able to enjoy the full story with no influence in the emotions is a truly wonderful feeling. Provided it's a good story.

So, what about you? Lemme know your opinion in the guestbook if you're willing!