#100 Days - Praise the gods of entertainment
21,440 words

Day 83 - Healthy environments for the imagery

For some writers, there is simply no free will. They're a conduit for the thoughts that enter or pass through their mind. It's important for these individuals to maintain a healthy environment for imagery to sprout and evolve. It's like watching a movie. Each little scene just carries the narrative forward. If a guy in the opening screen scratches his leg, that could lead to something. He gets in his car, where the fuck is he going? Does it matter? How's the weather? Your subconscious can answer all these questions, but only if the environment is right. There might be a million ways to create this environment. Health and happiness are for certain. Those are the master goals. There's also a way to guarantee that the environment is poisoned: Identify with your thoughts. Connect every image to yourself, or your own little vision of yourself. Write the story because you want to see yourself as a writer. Write to be something or someone. That's all poison. Be the conduit for the story. You shouldn't exist when you're writing. This is all arguable, of course, since many egotistical writers have come and gone. But how much satisfaction did they really bring to the world? Or, how much of what they wrote was simply commandeered by other ego-addicts who just want to feel special for having read and talked about something? Sadly, cultivating this sort of ego-driven consumption is a major part of a lot of university courses. Fuck them. Garbage. Now think about Elmore Leonard. Or JK Rowling or George RR Martin. Graham Greene, Stephen King. Now there are some writers who simply didn't exist when they were writing their stories. Not that any of this is easy. But it should be an earnest goal: Separate "yourself" (whatever that means) from what you produce. Get lost in the environment, that healthy place you're cultivating with good mental and physical health. Make it a lifestyle. 

Day 82 - Meditation script #6

Find a bird's nest. A magpie nest is preferred, but any type will do. Stare at it. Think about how long it would take for you to build one...with your hands...or your teeth. Think about the color of the eggs inside the nest and whether they have strange little spots on them. Maybe they're not bird's eggs at all. Maybe they're reptile eggs collected by the bird, meant to be eaten at a later date. Now imagine you're inside one of those eggs, naked and waiting for an untimely death. Birds are dinosaurs, vicious and beautiful in equal measure. They can't be trusted, but they can (and must) be respected. And now stop looking at the nest. Imagine that the sun is out. Imagine that the sun is an egg and the universe is a nest. Large bird. Large bird indeed. 

Day 81 - After all this is over

After all this is over, everyone should take a full year off from social media. Take that 17 hours a day you spend on social media, and learn three languages, put on 80 lbs of muscle, learn magic tricks, clean your floors, and learn how to make sushi for your pets. 

After all this is over, governments should strap bomb collars on people's necks and program them to explode if people exceed a monthly syllable quota. Not talking about the virus should help. 

After all this is over, complaining should be illegal for 6 months. Anyone caught complaining will be forced to live in a simulated communist society. They can only be released when their glorious Motherland has reached its natural utopian splendor. 

After all this is over, Google is going to take all the data they collected during the virus times and use that data to advertise very good products such as bidets, musical instruments, at-home workout equipment, fun hats, and animal toys. 

After all this is over, the bars are going to be packed and people are going to have more unprotected sex than ever. There won't be a baby boom from people staying home, but there will be a std boom and an abortion boom in the first few months after our sense of safety has mutated into a reckless abandon. 

Buckle up. 

Day 80 - Conference calls

Everyone who isn’t talking is texting. People have tape over their webcams in case the “turn camera off” isn’t working. Half of the people have done their hair and put on a nice shirt to feel like go-getters, but their resolve is waning. They’re starting with their pants. Once they stop putting on makeup, the descent into madness begins. A lot of people are also texting about how bored they are about the meeting. But some people are going to slip. They’re going to get caught being a slob or swearing or using their phones. A few singers will accidentally share their new talents. When everyone has to face each other again, fresh new horrors will emerge. Some people will have gained immense weight. Some people’s eyes will have darkened after the strain of isolation has flattened their souls. Those people have forgotten the gods of entertainment and their suffering is deserved. Praise.

Day 79 - So now there's Ulysses and iA Writer

These two programs are gorgeous little beasts that make writing a buttery smooth aesthetic experience. Not that writing is all about that. But, if you're doing something everyday, it's nice if it's real pretty. The problem rears is ugly head though: Ulysses is for iOS and Mac. iA writer is for both, but it's much much better on iOS. Again, you're trapped in the ecosystem. These two fuckers are a few examples of why so many people don't have a problem with Apple's walled garden. It's a nice fucking garden and though the monetary cost is high, the smoothness of the experience, the top-notch privacy and security (with all the regular updates) might just be worth it. Hard to say. Standard Notes still has an "it" factor, though, in terms of cross-platform computing. It's also an almost-perfect mediator between a Chromebook and an iPhone, if that's your combo. It's all good stuff, navigating through such fantastic choices, but one must sit and do the work. 

Day 78 - The many tests of isolation

The first test is about the technology. How's Microsoft, Google, and Apple doing in terms of serving the isolated masses? Netflix and the other streamers? Doing ok? Wifi providers need to be on their game. 

The second test is about service. Food and drink deliveries, coffees, the many bars and restaurants that are going to have to bounce back. There will be a cull favoring the businesses that can easily afford to survive this mess (the big chains). Many of those will be fine. But the rest will have to struggle. Some will survive on hard work and service. Others will die because they're fucking terrible and they always have been. Some will die because they are simply not successful enough and, despite their hard work and sincerity, they're going to be eaten alive. That's a genuine tragedy. Many people finally living some form of a dream job as a business-owner. They will have to start over. There will be casualties. That is deeply unfair when chains, Amazon, and the legion of cunts across the globe will bounce back like nothing happened. We need to start supporting local businesses. Everyone. 

The third test is home life. Some people love this. Some are going mental. Some couples will split. Some people will hate their pets. Unfortunately, being at home is not a cleansing experience for everyone. For those who are annoyed by noise, small-chat, and the daily death by a thousand cuts known as the office, this is an extended treat. 

The fourth test will be adjusting to the return. Some will do well. Others will undergo a new insanity. Everything will be different from now on, at least for a time. It's a good opportunity to create a foundation for new and better habits of eating, communication, exercise, creativity, all of it. Don't wilt. Attack.

Day 77 - Supergirl

Woke but not too woke. That's where many shows have landed. Somehow they've failed to foresee the trajectory of failure. You appease to those with a grievance, assuming you've made a wise and moral contribution to their crusade for social justice. But they're not in it for the justice. They're in it for the grievance. And when you take that away from them, they invent a new one. And on and on it goes, making it impossible for you or anyone else to be woke enough. The standards become more unreasonable, many insane, so the SJW numbers diminished but the members become louder, more intense, and more likely to exhibit madness and commit violence. They want nothing but an injection for their ego and an excuse to impose control and pain on others. Ideology does nothing but rot from the inside out, and ideology is always waiting, an easy grab for intellectually-lazy, ego addicts with weak hearts and petty emotions. 

Day 76 - Eggs

Eat a billion of them. Eat them all the time. They are extremely good for you. Cholesterol used to be a concern until doctors in Finland discovered that cholesterol was a hoax developed in underground labs in Latvia in the 1820s. Why this hoax? To convince people that heart disease was caused by anything else other than improper breathing; which we all still practice. The Latvians knew, early on, that proper breathing goes like this: Three stutter inhales when breathing in, hitting a c-sharp when breathing out. Hitting a c or a d is acceptable, but not optimal. Heart disease afflicts men more than women because men find it much more difficult to hit a c-sharp. It has to do with their reproductive tendencies. So, the next time you feel like having an egg, have seven of them. We can't let the Latvians win. Not again. 

Day 75 - Simple and Sinister

In this program you practice two important exercises: The kettlebell swing and the turkish getup. These exercises are important because they involve working the entire body in a health and sustainable way with the goal of making you stronger, not prettier. The drills and guidelines in this program are designed to help you master these two exercises. Following these drills and guidelines require patience and focus; two virtues commonly missing from the average gym. If you follow the S&S protocol to a "T", you will get stronger, you will avoid injury (barring any unfortunate circumstance), and you will develop perfect technique. It's the perfect amalgamation of discipline and strength. It's humbling but it builds confidence. It makes you the master of your own body. It's ego-proof. If you approach this with any ego, you will feel it in your movements. If you are impatient, again, you will feel it in your movements. Just think: It's a program that not only avoids injury, it prevents injury; it's a program that builds strength, confidence, and humility; it's a program that demands your complete focus and constant investigation of your own flaws; and finally, it's a program that creates a foundation of general strength that will allow you to be successful in other programs or routines. And success in this context means more than lifting heavier and having greater endurance: It greatly enhances your bullshit radar so that you detect nonsense programs, misleading or false advice, and people who "work out" for the wrong reasons. S&S is just as much for the mind as it is for the body. 

Day 74 - Working from home

The isolation and “social-distancing” is delightful for some, horrifying for others. For those whom it’s horrifying, perhaps it’s time to learn how to be happy alone. For those whom it’s a fresh new delight, this might indicate that it’s time to learn how to transition from tolerating people to not allowing yourself to be annoyed by them. Maybe. Or maybe it’s a truly wonderful thing, period. Maybe social isolation is what we need, at the physical level. We’re certainly socially isolated when our faces are in our phones. The poor fuckers who lost their jobs and have no money, now that’s a different saga. People with even somewhat secure jobs have a major advantage here. The demographics must be a fascinating little clusterfuck. May the gods of entertainment shift their blessings toward those who are fucked. And us as well. If we can, throw some help and understanding around. Have more respect for people in the service industry from now on. Stop calling people “boomers” and have some empathy for their health challenges.

Day 73 - JRE Fight Companion

When Eddie Bravo is on a rant and other people try to join the conversation, the clusterfuck of overlap is like listening to three jazz albums at the same time. Good albums, but three of them. You have to wonder about Eddie's brain. He gets locked into an idea, with a vision very narrow and very far. Too far and too fast. He's a maniac. That type of brain, that habit of getting ahead of himself at all times. There must be some link between the obsessive brain and his Brazilian jiu jitsu skills. 

Conspiracy theories require the latching on to an idea, reinforced through bias in an echo chamber, always looking for the next step and trying to be ahead of the status quo. Brazilian jiu jitsu must be like the last part; always looking ahead and trying to out-maneuver the person you're grappling with.

It's also self isolation and quarantine time, so there are many emails being sent about services continuing, mental health while being trapped at home, how to work without being overcome by distractions and boredom. Introverts are finally in their glory, spared of small chat and dressing up in the morning. It's a glorious time for many. A world of misery for others.   
   

Day 72 - Magpie Nest

You can tell by their nest that these are vicious little fuckers. Alone or in a gang, they'll steal, attack, and scheme. Their loud metallic squawk that sounds like it's miles away but somehow inside your ear. And yet they're so goddam handsome. Plump but healthy, long tail and wings with a deep teal and shiny black, softened by a white breast. But the nest reveals the truth of these brutes. Jagged, impenetrable, tortuous nests, barely visible. How it could ever house an egg is a mystery, but that's the point. It looks like it would stop a cat, not that there are many around. A fly couldn't land on it without being gashed. Magpies are special, there's no doubt. Little gangs with the run of the neighborhood.  

Day 71 - Tiamat

Tiamat is a large dragon with three heads. She is very difficult to beat. Apparently you need some fucked up spell to start off with, then it's all luck, trial and error. She is a very pretty dragon and likely misunderstood, but that doesn't mean she gets to live. She has to die so that a bunch of dwarfs scattered all over the world get to live and do whatever it is they do. Garden, work in mines, make potions, who the fuck knows. One thing is for certain: The evil villains have the best real estate. Palaces, castles in the sky, and everything else. Maybe that's their goal. Pimp their cribs like savages. From now on, all RPG games should have COVID-19 as a spell and it should work immediately on all villains, especially ones that have been terrorizing all these dwarf gardeners for centuries. 

Day 70 - Final Fantasy I on iOS

It is unimaginable how anyone could get through this game without looking up maps online. How in the heavenly fuck did some playing Nintendo back in the 80s go through this entire game without starving to death or getting some weird disease from sitting down forever? The game is superb, even legendary in terms of influencing future games, but it's massive, complicated, frustrating, and time-consuming. Did players have better memories in the 80s? Perhaps people applied a different mind to games, given that they had to pay very very close attention to navigation and all that other stuff missing from so many games today. Who knows. But in any case, it's a very good game on iOS. Very good indeed. Those old games were designed by people who knew the limitations of the system and worked with those limitations. Tools of the art. Today, games have gone a little nuts but sweet heavens they're good. Video gaming is one of these rare forms of entertainment and engagement that feels relevant. It's advanced technology, the height of design, all meant to stimulate today's entertainment junkie. And it doesn't matter what the field of video games "does to people". Doesn't matter. It's a field that has to be constantly pushed. Why? Because it's a form of intense creativity, the economic benefits are massive, and pretty soon we're all going to be pushed back into the darkness by a virus, into our caves where we found the gods of entertainment in the earliest times. 

Day 69 - Special day

69 isn’t just a filthy sex number or dogs sniffing each other’s asses. 69 is about the yin and yang of living on a planet where the environment and nature will be fine no matter what, but the human race is in a constant battle with itself over what we’re doing to a virtually indestructible orb. If we put all this environmental chat aside, can’t we just live cleaner for the sake of mental health? Litter and pollution is dirty chatter for the body, basically. Maybe the virus will send us back into the darkness where we all started? Once in caves with fire, now in dark rooms with phones. Why not? The gods of entertainment truly have us covered, but we need to rely on them during hard times. Tim J Dillon, perhaps the greatest rant artist alive, covers this I’m episode 189 of his podcast. Go listen to it in the dark. Be somebody.