Day 60 - Dear sweet Apple

Apple must offer a cheaper “lite” version of Apple Music that contains only two buttons: Library and Search. “For You” is almost useless and it’s less than a shadow of an effective citation tool. Browse is a fucking abomination. It’s like being forced to browse the candy aisle when you’re in the store to buy high-quality meat. Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga are noisy retards. We should be able to block “trending” artists from ever appearing in the Browse menu. Radio sucks too. A few decent shows amongst a strong focus on what’s trending. That said, it’s nice to be able to search for local radio stations from even remote areas of the globe. But. We should be able to curate it. The short of it is this: For You is useless. We know how to find an album we like. For this button to be useful, it has to be as good as the citation offered by Spotify. Browse is simply poisonous. It’s a garbage bin. It’s a wasteland of nonsense. Radio is decent, but the forefront of the browsing is dominated by stations that focus on what’s trending. More poison.

UI is stunning, as usual. But you should be able to never see Beiber’s face and music show up anywhere in my life if that’s what you want. Spotify has you beat, by the longest shot. Nice UI though.

With Spotify, you accidentally create an ecosystem of music rising out of the depths of your soul. So you’re basically God.

Bieber and Gaga show up now and then, but they’re buried as they should be. That’s what they are: Things that won’t stay buried. They’re part of a network of addiction to stimuli, an addiction that has confused beauty with intensity. Why else would Bieber choose to look like a crackhead from 1992? Why would Gaga choose to look like a crackhead from 2092? These are just two prominent examples. They’re talented and hardworking and they might deserve every cent they’ve earned, but they’re at the top of a garbage heap. Apple Music reaches into that heap, pulls out a piece off garbage and presents it as a decoration. Beautiful UI though. But imagine a beautiful perfect home, shiny and clean in all ways. Now imagine it with garbage strewn about.

But you could say, it’s not garbage to everyone and tastes are subjective. Fine. To modify: Its recycled plastic built to stimulate but not to last which is why they will all be forgotten, minus a few like Bieber and Gaga who will be remembered for their celebrity and not their music. Because that’s what all this is about: the cult of personality and image over sound (the sound is just there to sustain the brand). Apple is for the eyes and Spotify is for the ears.

Praise the gods of entertainment and all those (like Spotify) who respect the importance of good taste.


You'll only receive email when The Barnacle publishes a new post

More from The Barnacle