Take your seat and close your eyes. Now start to imagine the asteroid getting closer. And now look closer at the asteroid. What do you notice about the surface? You notice that it’s covered in some form of plant life. No. You look closer and realize that it’s millions or even billions of green organisms latched in to the asteroid, as desperate passengers. Are they fleeing from something, or are they heading toward us as marauders? Ponder this for thirty minis in silence. And now that you’re back with an answer, have a discussion with your alter-ego. Ask him: what are we going to do to prepare? If he says nothing, do that. If he says, pray, do so....to the gods of entertainment. And now open your eyes. Stare at any object. Close one eye. Take and hold a deep breath. Keep holding it. Let it out only when you’re admit to pass out. Think again about the asteroid. Now you see that it’s bare. No more organisms. But the asteroid is actually an alien super computer and you’ll have to deal with that now. Close your eyes again and keep them closed until hunger forces you to open them and seek out food.
March 5, 2020
More from The Barnacle
March 4, 2020
Apple must offer a cheaper “lite” version of Apple Music that contains only two buttons: Library and Search. “For You” is almost useless and it’s less than a shadow of an effective citation tool. Browse is a fucking abomination. It’s like being forced to browse the candy aisle when you’re in the store to buy high-quality meat. Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga are noisy retards. We should be able to block “trending” artists from ever appearing in the Browse menu. Radio sucks too. A few decent shows am...
March 6, 2020
Coined by Marshall McLuhan, this rather cryptic phrase refers to the following idea: When a new technology is introduced to our lives, the most important thing to pay attention to is how that technology alters our patterns of communication, thought, and work. An example: The content of television is much less important than the changes it brought on to how we consume information. A sub-example: It doesn’t really matter whether a television show is educational, or titillating, or “dirty”. What tr...