What a day yesterday was. It is like the feeling I get after a good sneeze, nap, or orgasm. I just feel so relieved.
I was getting anxious yesterday and felt that need to reach out to you. I don't have to tell you how the day went. Thanks for listening thanks for
But there is one thing that bothers me. There was a miscommunication where I had said that I wanted you to get more serious. After you clarified that I had missed a "not". I had asked what would you do if I had said that. You answered "we would have to reevaluate our friendship". At the time I took that as "our relationship is over". You through the question back to me and I said I would respond with the way I did in the past. I would tell you that I am not looking for that type of relationship at the moment. I am comparing your response (and the uncertainty in your voice) to my response and now I think I am not sure what you meant by "reevaluate our friendship". Now I am asking what if you want more from me and I start to worry about that burden. But, I was just asking myself "so what", that is on you. I think it is cute that you want more and if I was honest I would say I want more. I also want more candy to eat and to watch more movies. But we all evaluate our lives and decide what is best in our lives. It is okay to acknowledge a want and a desire. As a matter of fact I think it is freeing to acknowledge those things. I have acknowledged that I am agnostic, I acknowledge that I am sensitive to criticism, I acknowledge that I enjoy the tension we have. I acknowledge that I don't enjoy the uncertainty of when we will get the opportunity to chat next, but as I say that I know I control when we chat next.
I almost gave you the URL to these thoughts today but decided to hold off a little longer.