June 17, 2021•701 words
Today, I begin my 100 day writing challenge.
I hope to reflect on the past and heal. There have been instances lately where the past has haunted me.
Regrets and pains has taken over my psychic to a point where depression is all I feel. To a point where I am frustrated. I know it's okay to feel all this but I'm wasting time.
While my muscles are primed to waste away, I'm doing nothing to live to the fullest as every day could be my last.
Instead, I'm angry at the terrible decisions made by the old me.
Where I was driven by the delusion of the American dream. Where I thought the work of an individual defined their work. Where I thought physical ability would bring the ultimate happiness.
Only to find out none of it matters.
"Remember how far you've come," they tell me.
But it's too late.
My health is diminishing as I failed to do what was necessary in the past.
I needed to be stronger to better preserve myself. I needed to learn how to say no. I needed to learn how to embrace discomfort.
I couldn't. I was weak and suffering is the only conclusion now.
I hope the writing challenge will bring a brighter conclusion, but only time will tell.