Overwhelming. That's the one word that sums it up best. I'm overwhelmed, and have been for a while. Not a day goes by where I don't break down and cry. Not a day.

Today it was good news at first. Something worked out, unexpectedly. I was overwhelmed by positive emotion. It worked out. I couldn't believe it. I was walking out of the building, disoriented, barely able to find my way back to the office. I managed, but not without tears running down my cheeks from under my sunglasses.

About two hours later it was bad news. Something that I thought would work out, something that multiple parties already agreed upon, didn't. Lots at stake. Many dependencies. All crumbling in an instant. In my mind. Racing. And again I froze, and again I broke down, and again: tears, cheeks, sunglasses.

I don't think I've had a day without tears—good or bad—since November, or something. It's April now. And I'm still overwhelmed.

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