The inevitable deconstruction of faith

The US Catholic article provides a good description of what it means to deconstruct one's faith, and follows that up with a few examples. An entire book could be written on the arguments for and against each of the doctrines enumerated, because they aren't without reason.

Many of us experience things in our lives that cause us to perceive some beliefs as being at odds with observable reality. As I got older and wiser the Church's position on same-sex relationships, as an example, seemed increasingly harder to defend. Many argue - understandably - that changing the Church's position on gay relationships would undermine the meaning of marriage, and would undermine the Church's position as a rock in an uncertain world.

The thing was that everyone around me, gay and straight, appeared to be in a happy, healthy and committed relationship. Granted, not all of them last, for various reasons, but the idea of lifelong celibacy started looking like a fundamentally bad life decision in comparison. I sort of knew that repressing my gender dysphoria wasn't going to work long term either.
Gay marriage, it turns out, is also a much bigger issue than I thought. it's not just one right being argued about, but a set of rights marriage confers. Gay people in committed relationships need the right to visit their partners in hospital, and ensure they get the best care, should the worst happen. I'm not sure whether I'm up for adopting children yet, but marriage, in my opinion, would be neccessary for that also. Paying marginally less tax than we would as an unmarried couple would be nice.

Being a practising Catholic does require some integration of our faith with the complexities of the real world, and sometimes unavoidable compromise. Maybe the thing we call 'deconstruction' is a necessary part of that.

Deconstruction is seen mainly as something 'Millennials' do. I think it's because older 'Millennials', such as yours truly, have seen the world change. We know that certain traditions and values belong to a 'Boomer' generation that had everything they needed to get married and raise a family, and to live in the places where they grew up. By the way, I think that was only the case for a very brief period in human history.
Our generation's existence, conversely, is a perpetually uncertain one, thanks largely to globalism, an increasingly unaffordable housing market and an economy that might derail one's life multiple times. The future is unknown. Conservative values have no utility these days, because there's little to conserve. We adopt values that help us hold onto the relationships, jobs and communities we can.

There is so much I wanted to write about the reasons I deconstructed my faith - the sex abuse scandals, dealing with loss of loved ones during the pandemic, the actual relationship between the Church and the marginalised... Many thoughts I can't adequately put into words.

My belief in Jesus, the Resurrection and the Gospel is still absolute. I remain convinced that the New Testament are genuine accounts of things that were said and done 2,000 years ago. But I've lost faith in many things that accumulated around that - the institution, the politics, the moral philosophies, etc. I do think the Church, the traditions and the priests can guide one towards a relationship with Jesus.

Where does that leave me, though? As a transgender woman in a relationship, I wouldn't be accepted as a member of a church community, things being what they are, and I wouldn't be allowed to volunteer for the things I'd done before. I'd like to receive communion, but eligibility for that would entail making some very bad decisions.

Conversely, there are many Christians, even Catholics, who are demanding changes and working towards that.