Patch-Covered Burlap Backpacks

Dramatis Personae

• Taggart the Wise: a gnome mage
• Oggberta: an ogre paladin
• Sylvestre d'Montagne: a wyrmkin bard
• Grimstone Fullbeard: a dwarf cleric
• Phread Smithson: a human ranger

These characters are loosely inspired by the pre-generated characters in TorchLite, an epic fantasy table-top role-playing game (you can get it here). All the pre-gens have listed among their assets a "patch-covered burlap backpack". Imagine them all trying to one-up each other with the patches on their backpacks...

In the back conference room of the Mighty Cask tavern, a popular adventurer meeting place, five adventurers who've answered an ad for a new adventure meet for the first time....

"No, seriously?!?" squeaked Taggart at spotting the Dewdrop Inn patch on Oggberta's backpack. He swirled his mystical cloak around himself in surprise and - mostly - hid his grimace of disdain. "Honey Dewdrop's Inn and Teahouse lets tallfolk in?"

"Absolutely. Very accommodating." Oggberta pulled another two-pint sip through the straw in her massive tankard of tea. She then continued in her glacially slow rumble, enunciated around her massive tusks. "Tallfolk can't just mosey in the front door, of course. They'd hafta take the doors off. Even then, I'd've been on hands-and-knees the whole time. No, they had me go 'round back through the garden."

"Yes," interjected Sylvestre smoothly, "but mind the hedges during plumbloom. Honey wasn't pleased, what with all the blossoms that snagged on my scales. A tight squeeze."

"They seated me off to the side." Oggberta continued slowly. "None of the patio furniture was of a suitable caliber, if you catch my drift. I didn't mind, though since I didn't want to block the view of the other patrons. The view of the sunset over the puny hedges was just as beautiful. It was truly a sublime testament to The Maker's benevolence. Nobody makes a better cuppa chai than Honey, either!" Her massive pinky nearly obscured a large ornate patch she was pointing to. Its form was a pale pink plum blossom with the word "Chai" in the five most common languages embroidered around the perimeter. "I bought this chai patch and sewed it right there before I left!"

"My favorite patch is the one I got in Firegulch." Sylvestre turned his pack back and forth scanning the chaotic rainbow of patches until he proudly pointed at a small black patch with orange splotches arranged in a rough and intimidating face. "They'll only sell that one to folk who've gotten below the 15th level in the dungeon at Firegulch." He didn't even try to contain his swagger.

Taggart piped up again and said, "Never been. Booking a delve in Firegulch is hard!"

"Too touristy for me, I'm afraid." Grimstone intoned deeply. "Got mine on my very first training adventure, oh, ages ago, when I was just a pebble. We easily hit the lowest level of Firegulch and so I was allowed to buy this one," and she pointed at a well-worn patch overlapped by a couple others. It was similar to Sylvestre's but larger and, instead of orange, the splotches were gold.

Phread quietly nudged his plain brown burlap backpack farther under the table where no one could see it. His also had patches covering the many rips and weak spots in his battered pack but they were all various shades of plain burlap and inadvertently gave an air of tired camouflage. He thought to himself, "I've got to get out of the forest more often."