Raw and Real--It’s how I feel.

There is no mask, social distancing or lockdown that can keep you and your loved ones safe from the real virus.

I’ve been asked “aren’t you scared of the corona virus?”

I have never been scared of something I know I have very little risk of contracting or spreading.
I have never been scared of something I have a full arsenal to prevent.
I have never been scared of something I know there are several very effective treatments for.

But nobody ever asked me or have I ever heard on the MSM ask, “Are you scared of the very REAL EFFECTS that the fear mongering, keeping people isolated and lonely, the economic collapsing for individuals, the overwhelming stress of the ever mounting issues in our world from the social unrest and instability of the very essence of our lives; our humanity.????

Although I do not live in fear, THIS IS the truest fear that is the most widespread and deadly across all socia-economic demographics.

I have even recently posted about the mental health demise this plandemic has been causing and I was very upset then... before it hit home.


I am outraged that every single sinister person who has plotted and planned this Corona virus outbreak, patented the virus, had everything in place to collapse our economy, our psyches, our society, and to profit in every way, is still at large continuing their evil plan.

I am outraged that so many people are just too lazy to do their own research to find out the truth about who is really behind the curtain of “Oz” and who controls the narrative we are being fed and sadly, just go along with “the program.”

Every single one involved in this web of lies that has created this “new normal” is complicit in contributing to the loss of my beautiful daughter’s father.

He loved her so much.
She was his world.
He was her Sun.
She was his moon.
They were best buddies and did the coolest things together, things I couldn’t do with her because he knew how to do everything fun.
He was the wittiest most jovial guy I’ve known.
He always had a joke.
He always knew how to make Charla laugh.
He was kind.
We did our best to co-parent Charla.
We agreed from the beginning that she was our angel.
She came to us to guide us, to ground us, to give us true purpose.
She has.
She was our gift.
Paul did his best to be the best daddy boats and exactly the kind of dad Charla needed... for her.
They were best buddies.
Their bond was so special, one that I loved to observe.
Their love was something nobody could describe but everyone admired.
He wanted to be the best for her.
We had so many talks about his love for her and how proud he was of her.
His entire apartment was decorated with their pictures and her art and love letters to him.

My heart aches for our daughter who now must live without her daddy and all the life they had left to share.

There are so many what ifs.

Outrage being self directed...
There is so much I would do different now.
I would have reached out more.
I would have tried to help more.
I would have gone the extra miles to save him for Charla.

Words cannot accurately describe the tragedy and grief that we are experiencing.

He was so deeply loved by so many amazing friends.

My heart is broken for my daughter, his family and friends, and for all who have had to go through this especially during this crazy time in 2020.

The exponential increase in suicides since March is tragic.

Please reach out to your loved ones who are depressed or are having a difficult time with all the madness in the world.
It’s just too much for many who are already having deep struggles.

I will never know if there would have been a different outcome if this scamdenic had not gone down.
I’ll never know if I would have done more to be there for him and invited him to church like I felt like I needed to do would have changed the present, but here we are.

So, from this I would like to speak from a raw broken heart.

The wake up call has hit us hard.
If more of us do not wake up, more will be lost.
We must reach out and let go of pride, anger and unforgiveness.

This is our time to let go of past hurts and reach out in love.

Life is way too short, too precious.

Freedom starts from within.
We must free ourselves from the chains of these lower energies that keep us from loving our wounds more than the humanity of a soul.

The pastor today reminded me to be salt and light...
To make others thirsty for peace, joy and kindness by actually being those.
His words stung my heart as I was very aware now that I had lost my “saltiness”.
Where was my peace and calm that could have helped and the light to show the way?
Another personal wake up call...
One that I am answering to find the Light in this darkness.. and to shine it brighter...

The question still awaits us..
What is there to fear and how do we we overcome it all?
Remember our Source.
Remember God is more powerful than any struggle, addiction, illness or any other issue.
We do not stay silent in the face of lies and injustices.

We overcome by faith.

May we help others overcome who have lost their last bits of strength.

May we choose to remove the inner masks that need to be removed so we can see each other and heal the virus.

This is our journey together.

Please keep my daughter and all Paul’s loved ones close in prayers.

Author Unknown


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