Who Am I?

I am someone who thinks lots and thinks constantly. I am someone who grew up in an atheist, white, 'British' family - quite probably with Christianity sitting a few generations into the past. I am interested even, in a way, as I write this how it is possible that I am where I am right now. When growing up, depending on how old and my level of maturity, I was always very confused, indifferent, perturbed and even offended by the idea of 'being religious'. Yeah, I attended a 'sorta religious' school when I was young - but it was the kind that told you about it in assembly - rather than the kind that was on a mountain. I always had a deep sense of -

Wouldn't it be great if I could think like that? If I could be blinded enough by 'faith' (whatever that is) to be able to think that way - maybe it would be a nice and happy way to live

A past narrative now, that I somewhat still agree with of course - the happy and nice way to live part of course.

But the feeling was always one of fiction, or fantasy - which is why I am still interested years on, as to how I got here.

Why bother?

Not too sure really - it is something I often ask myself - How did I get here? - that is. And it is regularly something that others ask me, be them friends, family or people I meet - religious or otherwise. I am not the 'expected' demographic for a Muslim, but that doesn't in any way make me special. I think the motivation behind asking varies drastically

1. Some want to know how the person they knew could change so much, or not
2. Some may be asking out of a certain degree of mockery, seeking to pickup snippets of things they can use to justify their own thoughts, or to use in an internalised case against me
3. For some it is novelty
   1. They may well be actually interested, they might want to learn and discover
   2. They might appreciate a story that helps them boost their own Iman (sense of faith) by listing to how someone who wasn't born into the religion came to find it

Or perhaps other reasons

As for why bother - maybe I will link people here when they ask - or maybe I am just doing it to help organise it all in my mind - Allah knows best