After years of deliberation, I have done it. I have set up an anonymous blog.
I always wanted to write. As a young girl, I pictured myself behind a writing desk, with lots of books, paper, pens, etc., and a dog. Growing up, my friends dreamed about meeting "the one" some day, getting married, having a house and kids. I never had such dreams. Instead I dreamed about a cozy house, somewhere in the hills, filled with books and a writing desk of course. I wanted to come home to an empty house, with a small garden, being welcomed by a loyal dog. I used to think that such dreams were childish, and I would eventually grow out of it and start wanting a man, a marriage and children, a family of my own.
Cut to age 29, I still want the same things, a house upon a hill surrounded by scenic beauty, filled with books, away from the world. My list actually grew from these basic things, I also want a great Wi-fi connection with basic gadgets like a phone and a laptop, a great AV system, an awesome kitchen with an endless supply of milk and coffee, and multiple dogs and possibly some friendly cats, making a living out of writing books. Like a modern Jane Austen, who never wanted to depend on a man for her living, even when it was almost impossible for her to do so, given the era she lived in.
The idea of isolating myself is a recurring theme in my life, and my mum absolutely hates it. She is more of a social butterfly, and I wish to never break out of my cocoon. It may seem rude and I do come across as arrogant to most people, but I cant help it. Interactions with people and emotions are exhausting and tedious. And the irony of my life is that I have a job which involves talking to a lot of people and finding solutions for their problems. After a particularly chatty day at work, I dont even text my boyfriend for the fear that he would want to talk to me. I just want to switch off my mind and do nothing.
Wow, I wrote a long note for someone who was suffering from a writing block for a couple of years. I think I should end it here, save some ranting for tomorrow.