Why has nobody told me this before

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? by Dr. Julie Smith
This book is essentially a mental health toolkit, written by clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Smith. It’s packed with practical advice, strategies, and psychological tools to help people deal with stress, anxiety, low mood, self-doubt, and difficult emotions.

Key themes include:

• Understanding your emotions rather than suppressing them.
• Building resilience through small, consistent habits.
• Managing negative thoughts with cognitive behavioral techniques.
• Taking care of your mental health proactively (like you would your physical health).
• The importance of self-compassion and knowing it’s okay not to be okay.

Tips:

1. Emotions are messages, not enemies
   Instead of fighting negative emotions, listen to what they’re telling you.
   Ask yourself: What is this emotion trying to tell me I need right now?
   Example: Feeling anxious might mean you need to feel more prepared. Sadness might mean you need connection or rest.

2. Small habits = big mental health gains
   Tiny daily actions (even 5 minutes) matter more than huge changes.
   Focus on one helpful thing each day, like:

3. 5 minutes of deep breathing.

4. A short walk outside.

5. Writing down 3 things you’re proud of.

6. Thoughts aren’t facts
   Just because your brain says “I’m useless” doesn’t make it true.
   Learn to challenge negative thoughts — ask:

7. Where’s the evidence?

8. What would I say to a friend who felt this way?

9. Motivation follows action (not the other way around)
   Waiting to feel motivated? Don’t. Start small, and action creates momentum.
   Example: Want to feel more confident? Do one small brave thing today, even if you don’t feel ready.

10. Self-compassion is a superpower
    Beating yourself up won’t make you better. Treat yourself like a friend.
    Instead of saying “I’m such a failure”, try “This is hard, but I’m learning.”

11. Resilience is built, not born
    Hard times are part of life — resilience comes from facing them, not avoiding.
    Each time you cope with a challenge, your brain learns “I can handle this.”

12. Your brain needs rest too
    Mental rest is just as important as physical rest.
    Protect time for fun, creativity, and doing nothing — your brain processes emotions and stress when you rest.