Adėl

I don't feel like talking about the past weeks that much, because they're not that fun. My mental health is tiring, and I wish things were easier. We tidied up the flat yesterday and today, so that helps feeling comfortable already. I started rearranging and tuning the drum set, which is motivating me to start practicing again starting tomorrow, and I've played the piano here and there. Mom and I went to a writing workshop, which was also very nice, and makes me want to write more. Not knowing...

Weeks 13 and 14 feel more like one very long week than two separate ones. Firstly because of Stockholm Tap Festival, secondly because of the videos I posted. The second one felt more difficult to post and obviously had less shares, interactions and reactions. It was good to do it, though. It made me wonder if I wanted to continue (post more videos in the coming weeks), but being so alone with it, it makes me be undecided. Stockholm Tap Festival came to an end, which was sad, but thankfully Kris...

That was the week where I went to Stockholm for the Stockholm Tap Festival. Hadn't written a post originally, but I did want to remember a few things. On Wednesday I had an appointment at the clinic to meet with their team and see if staying there for a bit would make sense for me (answer: maybe?). It was... interesting. But not very conclusive. It's the same as with ADHD: it feels like this could be a good thing to do, but also I'm not really sure and that uncertainty is tiring. I then travel...

I wanted to go to bed hours ago and write my weekly post tomorrow instead of today, but then I got carried away playing the piano and after that I got carried away playing the drums and after that I got carried away taking polaroid pictures for my project and now I am hungry again so I guess I’m still going to be awake for a little bit — and might as well write my blog entry while I’m waiting for this last picture to develop. This week I tried a new approach and started writing down things duri...

I’m a bit late but here’s my entry for the eleventh week of 2024. Anouk and I drove to the seaside, which was extremely nice. We found a spot on Park4Night for our van and went for a little walk upon our arrival. It was already dark out, but the weather was lovely and we were enjoying the area a lot. Then I got really surprised: I recognised the spot. I had been here before! Last summer, when wanting to do a little holiday in my own, I had come to that area and on one of the days, I had walked ...

Another week, another recap. This week has been full of ups and downs. I have a hard time remember the things that happened. I saw two close friends (individually) as they changed in Hanover on the way to other destinations. I had a hard time sleeping again, which had not been the case for a few weeks and let me tell you: I had not missed it. I did sort through some of my messages and I wrote some emails. I did some tidying up. I built my drum kit back up and now have a little music area tha...

It‘s March already. How did that happen? Banal question, I know. But it does make me wonder. Have I not been in the present, or how did I miss all those weeks passing by? January was the month of travelling through France: Nantes, Toulouse and back to Paris at the end of the four weeks. February was this weird mix of travelling (but not by van) and being stuck in Paris and not feeling super well and cancelling the Lindy Hop workshops I was supposed to work at. I guess time did pass. It just do...

So much has happened in the past two weeks that I had completely forgotten about this little project of mine. It’s not even that I procrastinated or thought “ah I’ll do it tomorrow“, it’s just that I entirely forgot. 100%. Didn’t even remembered it existed. Maybe I should add a little reminder in my calendar – but maybe that would make it too much of an obligation. So much has happened in the past two weeks. I spent one week in Paris again. It wasn’t quite the plan, but it was okay. I don’t re...

Since I said I’d write every week, here’s my little text. I almost started writing yesterday instead of today because there were some things I wanted to reflect upon, but it didn’t work out. I guess Sunday night really is the moment to write those entries. This week I travelled from Lausanne to Hanover. I switched streaming services last week and it made me listen to a lot more music, which was nice. The week in Hanover was nice, overall. Some challenging moments, as always, but I think in the...

Starting this week, I think I want to try and write a little update every week. Not necessarily long, but just something to keep trace of what I’m going through, and to stay focused on my goals. This past week, I wanted to rest at the beginning of the week, and I did. I saw some friends and went to the movies: Mean Girls on Sunday, L’anatomie d’une chute on Wednesday and Perfect Days on Thursday. All those experiences were absolutely wonderful. On Friday, I started again working on the public ...

Over the past few days I've felt massively shaken, for no specific reason. I've felt weak, tired, useless, worthless. And while listening to Billie Eilish's new single ("Your Power"), I connect more with those feelings of why. It comes from a lack of self-love, combined with structures that are here to oppress us, to keep us in control. To not loose the power. To keep "order". If I'm miserable and on my own, stuck on instagram for longer than what I wanted and sleep-deprived, I won't change the ...