Blogs are ephemeral

I just read a statement by someone - no idea who - which read "Blogs are ephemeral." I believe this is true. At least, it is for me.

I have had more blogs than I can remember. Most of my blogs have lasted for a matter of weeks. Most of my blogs have been read by nobody. But they have still served a purpose, of sorts.

The motivation to blog, for me, ebbs and flows. It flows because I frequently have the desire to write. It ebbs when I remember, for the 100th time, that nobody is going to read what I write, and actually, do I really want anybody to read what I write? Anybody I know, that is. The answer is invariably no.

And why is the answer no?

Maybe it is because I am ashamed of who I am.

Maybe it is because I think people would be surprised or even shocked if they read what is on my heart.

Maybe it is because I have been living some kind of pretence, trying to minister (I am a pastor) out of someone I am not.

You see, my blogging reflects who I am. I can't seem to write apart from who I am. Maybe that is why writing is so cathartic.

Should I blog? This is the question. Because if I do, I have to stop being ashamed of the Real Me.