Thursday, Jan 15, 2026 at 11:44 AM

I think I've finally hit the sweet spot with my epilepsy meds
The fog has lifted and Im aware of the world around me
and painfully aware of myself
Im ready for the temper-tantrums of the narcissists who have
been happily feeding on undiagnosed untreated past-self
They're emotions aren't my responsibility or my fault
They can cry it out like a toddler
My boundaries are set
THIS is why I stayed away from romantic relationships
from new friendships
anyone who would have wanted to bring me into their life
when I was in that state
would not have had anything but selfish intentions
Like the caretaker determined to keep be dependent on her
The leech taking credit for my work
while taking advantage of my emotional exhaustion
I can handle your narcissistic breakdowns now
cry it out, bitch

Oh - and I'm letting myself have opinions about people now
I recognize their humanity
in my opinions, recognize their autonomy, their lives
beyond their interpersonal relationships with me
I treat them with respect as a fellow human being
but also recognize how I feel about their behavior
and through their behavior how I feel about them as a person
without assumptions about their inner workings

These things aren't mutually exclusive
You don't need to create monsters out of personal opinions
Unless you're writing good fiction
They can inspire the antagonist
without creating demons in your mind
You can't get along with everyone
and not everyone will like you
Embrace the conflict that arises

its an indicator you are authentic

Before the misinterpretations of the Yoga teachings
that created an easy to manipulate un-opinionated being
I didn't understand that
Most people don't
I filtered the concepts through the lens of my own experience
and my world was cruel
I don't blame that girl for her choices
She knew she was navigating the world blind
Her unyielding determination
kept her trudging forward, falling over, changing course
trusting those who killed her soul
left her a husk
but there were embers under the ash
and the scavengers who called themselves wolves
would feed until she was empty
But in the solitude
She built her own foundation
She demanded change
and now....