37 Steps to Screw up a Product Demo as a Sales Engineer

  • Arrive a little late, blame it on starbucks
  • No need to introduce yourself, be straight to the point
  • Avoid setting the agenda, they might question it
  • Don’t do discovery, it’s not about them, it’s about you
  • Take out your laptop, make sure it doesn’t have a lot of battery
  • Bonus point if you actually forget your computer
  • No need for wifi, tethering is fine
  • Spend 10 minutes to find the demo, say a few jokes meanwhile
  • Remember you didn’t prepare anything, so look a little confused
  • Much better if there’s no TV to present, you want that intimacy feeling
  • Make sure you don’t know the audience, your pitch is solid as is
  • Ok, take a deep breath, it’s your moment
  • Speak fast
  • Make sure it’s very loud so that people in other meetings hear you and join
  • Use a lot of filler words
  • Don’t know the product
  • Forget story telling
  • Say “micro-service” at least twice
  • Forget your battery charger
  • Explain one feature at a time
  • Your computer is dead, ask to use someone’s computer
  • Always explain what, but not why
  • Make sure it’s long and a little boring, if it’s too exciting it’s suspicious
  • Receive email confirmation from dubious amazon orders
  • Have slack open
  • Do not take notes, you don’t want to be distracted
  • Monotonic voice, it will hypnotize them
  • Do not ask question, keep it a one-way discussion
  • Forget to breath and keep speaking
  • Wait 3 seconds between each word you say. It’s more dramatic like that.
  • Did I mention not to leave room for questions?
  • In doubt, say “yes”
  • Actually, just say “yes” as much as possible
  • Avoid next steps at all cost
  • Make sure the meeting run over a little, it means it was good

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