Monsters seen when sober.

I used to very much enjoy clubbing and getting drunk, However that began to change when I finished reading Fear and loathing in las vegas, that part about the drunks being like animals shocked me, I'd seen people fight, do drugs, grind half naked on a stranger, puke all over themselves, puke on others, once I even saw a stabbing – but somehow the way hunter s Thompson described the drunks was still shocking to me. After reading that I became slightly more observant when out clubbing and I could see that he was right, fucking animals, but I'm sure it came to a point of no return the last time I went out.

Because of some stomach problems drinking hasn't mixed well with me recently so I had to go out stone cold sober, I thought about taking a valium, maybe a tab or something but decided to just go sober. What a regrettable choice that was; Me and my friends sat in the pub, I watched drink after drink, bad choice after bad choice, their words began to slur, then we went to a club, the same one I've been to probably a hundred times, It was packed, we walked to the front and got some drinks, not me however then we walked through the crowd to find a place to sit, someone barged into me then said “watch where your fucking walking” I looked at him for a second wondering about how badly I'd get the shit kicked out of me by him and the three of his friends, by this point I was only with two girls so there was no one to jump in and drag them off me, I regret not getting the shit kicked out of me, I should have, they wouldn't have killed me, at worst it would have been a night in a&e plus I'd have at least gotten a couple good hits in. I'm not one for violence but it would have at least been interesting, I've not been properly beaten up since highschool and fights in highschool don't really count, outside of highschool I've not really been attacked, a friend got into a fight once then when he started winning the losers friends jumped in so I followed their lead, I didn't even know I'd been in a fight till the day after when my friend told me, apparently some of his other friends dragged us off to seperate it then we went to mcdonalds, the next week I found out I got kicked in the head and hit right in the chin, it's very dissapointing I don't remeber it.

After we sat down I started to look around the room and it was shocking, there was a married couple sat near ot us, they had several empty glasses on their table and a few empty shots, she had her hand on his thigh then he started whispering into her ear then her hand moved further up his thigh until she was groping him in full view of everyone, they later left both struggling to walk, it was a very upsetting sight, they looked to be in their late 30s early 40s. Surrounded by people moving in aggressive ways, looking as if they hate everyone around them, all making regrettable choices, is this how I used to behave? is this how a sober man would have seen me? I then started to feel very low, I kept looking at the fruit machine, wondering if I should play for a bit after all gamblings always fun, if you win great and if you lose it's at least a little bit of a rush, I prefer to do my gambling online, I keep a log to ensure I'm always in the green or an acceptable amount in the red, just last night I was up £120 and pushed it all on one bet, lost it, doesn't matter.

When looking around the room at all the people getting blackout drunk I wondered how many of them are happy? It doens't seem like something a happy person does, I have no idea why I used to do it, I guess because it was easy and it's seen as something you're meant to do, in the UK binge drinking culture is poisonous, if you don't puke up on a night out then you didn't drink enough, it's not seen as even remotely shocking to drink so much you puke but when you actually think about it it should be.