paper to screen

This is another attempt to write more consistently. I've been going to school for cybersecurity and I have made the steps to use more privacy focused apps and software. The idea of journaling digitally is slightly foreign. There was a time when I obsessed over the right smell and texture of paper, the perfect flowing but not bleeding pen, amazing penmanship and yet the writing was inconsistent and insecure. During this semester in school, I've come across many examples of switching my tactile life to something more digital. I listened to a podcast, lex something, and he said that he moved from books to kindle reading only because that is where the world is going. Most books are released electronically and traditional books can be thought as a thing of the past. I don't necessarily agree with that but when I see the outcry from authors in regard to the homogenization of book covers or the threat of AI, or even how it seems like every celebrity has begun to write a memoir because the people are buying enough to turn it into an industry, I can understand that things aren't what they used to be. In the last few years, I was honing my identity as a timeless, old school, person. I love denim, in person talking, letter writing, and a general slower method of living but after going back to school and beginning to make tech something of a work practice, I'm feeling unfamiliar to myself. Much like my reluctance to fully immerse myself into my creative practices, there is a hesitation to fully go all in on tech. Some of it has to do with a feeling of being overwhelmed. There are so many things to learn and it seems like there are so many technologies to learn before I could even land an entry level job. I fear that I could become another grunt worker at another big company. I fear that I am too old to switch careers. I fear that I don't fit into tech culture. While I do enjoy some of the things I've learned about tech, I don't know what I want. I know that I like stories, animation, freedom, and buddhism. I want to live my life exploring the things that I like but I usually default to the things that I can grant me security and safety. I've always admired the ethos of punk rock but I usually feel like a stiff poser.