Where Do Our Kids Learn to Judge?
January 26, 2024•396 words
I started reading The Daily Dad by Ryan Holiday on January 1st this year.
The cool thing about this book is it is written in a calendar format where each chapter syncs to a day of the year and is only 1-2 pages long.
I've always struggled to sit down and actually read a 400+ page book (I typically don't finish them unless I listen to the audiobook). But this format is easy to keep up with.
Since I started on the first day of the year, it's only a minute or two of reading per day and I'll be done by the end of the year. If I fall behind a few days, I just catch up to the chapter for the current date.
More books should be written in this format.
This is my favorite chapter I've read so far. I may turn this into a longer post with more of my favorite chapters after I get through the entire book.
January 14 Where Do They Learn to Judge?
We wonder where our kids learn to judge or, worse, where they learn to be biased or to think less of this group or that one. There is only one answer: they learn it from us.
It was a comment under your breath about your brother’s spending habits. It was a joke about a celebrity’s weight. It was a complaint about the way your neighbor parks in their driveway. It was the conversation between you and your spouse over dinner about what’s wrong with the other side, with them.
You didn’t mean anything by it. You don’t really care. But your kids heard it. And they can read only your lips, not your mind.
We want kids who are open-minded, who give people the benefit of the doubt. But are you showing yours what this looks like day to day? Sure, you’re not a bigot, but are you always kind? You would never say something cruel to someone’s face, so why are you saying it behind their back? Especially when your kids can hear you.
The world needs less judgment, less bullying, fewer opinions, period. Can you start this trend at home? Can you teach your kids what that looks like, instead of letting the same old rumor mill spin round and round, grinding their goodness to dust?