11/27/2021: To Lose is to Gain

TO LOSE IS TO GAIN

This is 2021. The year that was supposed to make up for the last. Nope. This year has been as tough as any I can remember; a season of loss. A terrifying roommate situation, the loss of a best friend and a relationship, the rift in my family, a personal battle with depression, worry, fear, hopelessness. Yet somehow, in the midst of all that, I fell more myself than ever. I feel alive and more in touch with who I am. I moved into a great apartment with a wonderful roommate. I poured into my friends and opened up about the darkness I have experienced in ways I have never done before. I accepted a new job in a leadership role that will advance me 5-10 years in my career. I made peace with my family. I find myself wondering what exactly did I actually loose?

I lost the fantasy world I lived in. I lost the vision that my family would someday be perfect. I lost the idea that a relationship could save me or would complete me. I lost the idea that I can't trust my friends with the depths of my heart. I lost the coping mechanisms to numb the pain.

I lost control, but in losing it, I gained peace. I gained growth. I gained health. I gained success. I gained a greater relationship with my friends and my God. Viewing life as not something to control but to take in stride has set me free. I took these pictures as a reminder of this year that I finally lost it all and gained it all back. Hope this will inspire you to let it all go, and focus on you.

(PS. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone. Do the work. Get into therapy. Lean on your friends. You are loved, you are whole, and you are enough!)