CW 41

To no one in particular,

Today I killed an animal. It wasn't an unconscious act. The animal was a nuisance and an imminent danger to me and my family. It was cornered and it was scared, and we'd battled for a good while, and it was hurt, and when it poked its head out, I made a conscious note of the fact that when I swung my stick I would be killing it. And then I swung down and hard.

I don't know what to think about the whole situation. I don't know what to write about it either. Every life is sacred. And yet, all we've done as we've hopped from one system to the next is kill to make way for us. But every life is sacred. And I don't like knowing that it was a potential harm to me, my partner, and my little ones especially.

It's been a crazy few weeks. I wonder if I haven't been cursed by a witch somewhere. Have I offended anyone? I suspect a few. One or two. An infection. The Illness. And killing an animal.

My work is getting done. Little by little, small things are happening. Soon, if things keep going this way, these small changes will be big ones. We'll be on our way in no time to distant systems. E's work is also getting done and as a result, E and I are dreaming bigger. It's good to dream. It's even better to believe that some of these dreams are not entirely impossible. With a little dedication, we can get there.

The weather has been improving, which is a great relief. The planet being closer to the star runs hot. Our previous habitats were located in zones considered temperate even by Earth standards. But our rotation is taking us a little out of the star's way now. The days are shorter, but the temperatures are more bearable.

I spent a couple of hours this morning admiring the flora and fauna in our colony. I sat on the swing under a couple of huge plants and meditated. When I opened my eyes, I whistled tunes from my home in the mountains.