The UK is governed by a malign Dunning-Kruger government: a group of people so incompetent that they don't realise how incompetent they are, led by Dominic Cummings: a low-level crank who has persuaded both himself and them (easy to persuade them) that he is a genius.
Because they are so incompetent their useless plans – or lack of plans – fail, predictably and repeatedly. Because they think they are brilliant, or at least that they are led by a genius, this makes no sense to them: the great Cummings is brilliant (he says so often enough): how can his wonderful plan fail? Ah, but, you see, it didn't fail: it was foiled by someone else. It was Public Health England all along, working in the darkness to defeat the great plan (the details of which escape us now and somehow never quite got written down anywhere, but it was certainly very wonderful). We must therefore replace PHE with a new body, a body controlled by us, which will be better in some way we can't put our finger on at the moment, or will at least be controlled by us1. That will work, or anyway it will not be our fault. It is never our fault.
And this is the great trick: things go wrong, but someone else is always to blame. It's PHE, it's the Europeans, it's the Gypsies, it's, you know, those people, people different than us, working against us secretly. We know where this leads because we've seen it before. It's not dark yet, but it's getting there.
But, you know, not too closely controlled: we'll need to blame it for some new failure in due course, after all. ↩