Ben Wallace and the cows

Ben Wallace says

The problem in the House of Commons is ultimately the overall culture of long hours, bars and people sometimes under pressure and after all of that, that can create a toxic mix that leads to all sorts of things.

or in other words

No no no, we're not bigots and misogynists, not at all. We just work terribly long hours you see and drink a lot you see and that makes us into bigots and misogynists, you see.

Yeah, right. Here's the thing, Ben: being tired and drunk all the time doesn't make people into bigots and misogynists: it removes their inhibitions so they express the bigotry and misogynism they always felt.

If you behave like a bigot and a misogynist when you are tired and drunk, it's not because you're tired and drunk: it's because you are a bigot and a misogynist.

You know, I hate cows, and I live somewhere where there are a lot of cows. But I know that I shouldn't hate cows because it's not politically correct. (This is a term I use a lot, you see, because my friends will know what I really think. It's a kind of code, you see, so they know what I really think about cows). So I normally behave ever so well towards the local cows, saying good morning to them as they eat their grass in their fields and having quite normal conversations with them, just like someone who doesn't hate cows. But sometimes, after a long day at work, I go to the pub and get a bit drunk. And then, sometimes, when I'm walking home from the pub past all those cows in their cow fields ... I do some cow tipping.

[I don't really hate cows, this is just a story.]