Want of a Soul Chariot 95/100 ( #100days writing challenge)

What I’m curious about is how talented artists achieve success—their methods, habits, and pathways. While working in corporations, I observed what it takes to grow a business and witnessed both clear signs of success and the subtle steps that enable it.

Living with a chronic brain illness is a major handicap for me. My insight is limited, my motivation often wanes, and I lack the originality that M. Pelosi displays in her drawings. Discipline is another area where I fall short. Consequently, I’ve always wondered how others manage to turn their talents into successful careers.

In corporate America, the environment felt like a gauntlet that pushed my stress levels beyond the limit, whereas many colleagues seemed to thrive under the same pressure, converting stress into achievement. At one point I declared, “I want to create the engine of a successful writing practice,” and later added, “I also want to build the engine of a successful drawing practice.”

Now, in my later years—filled with wisdom and grace—I finally have spare time. I still hope to transform this unstructured time into a meaningful body of work. In my country, success is typically measured by earnings, while today’s social media culture gauges it by likes and followers. Neither metric works for me, so my success must be self‑recognized and self‑motivated.

Having escaped the corporate gauntlet while keeping my spirit (and, if not my reasoning ability, at least my resolve) intact, I aspire to earn friendships and recognition based on my artistic output. A friend of mine became a successful outsider artist. She welcomed me into her home and showed me her process. She would watch soap operas on television and then draw with obsessive energy—that was “what she did,” she explained. That obsessive drive acted like a chariot for her soul, propelling her toward success. Necessity forced her to organize her life around her relentless drawing, allowing her to survive and thrive. I admired her work, yet I never truly saw the gauntlet she endured to achieve that success.