C&CW Ep. 34 - Dealing with your past, pt. 3



Coffee & Christian Worldview
Episode 34

Show Notes:

How to use our past appropriately with other people.
You have to deal with it first.

If you haven't dealt with it biblically, but have become bitter, that will come out when you speak with other people.
Not gossiping, not slandering.

Not everyone needs to learn the hard way. We share our experiences so other people don't have to go through the same experiences.

It's like seeing a trap in the way, and saying "look out."

2 Corinthians 1:3–4 (NET)
3 Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles so that we may be able to comfort those experiencing any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

It's not our experience that is primary, but the comfort of God.

"Show me your scars" garbage.
No one should have to earn the right to be heard. "Pay your dues," "earn your stripes," suffer first before you can talk to me, all that may just be spite.

Some people say you're not worthy to talk to me if you haven't experienced this, or younger.

Rather, we should put our experience in proper place.

It's God's comfort, not our comfort primarily. It's God's comfort we bring.

You cannot minimize a child's hurt just because it's nothing for you. You cannot be selective with suffering.

We are not entitled to know the multiplicity of reasons for our suffering. We need to accept the fact that we aren't going to know.
But in 2 Corinthians 1, we are told one of the purposes: so you can comfort others.

Give people God, give them Scripture.

It hurts when we have to watch other people, because we remember our past.

We have to equip people, so they learn how to protect themselves.

What experiences do we share so that people will not get hurt?

Example: 2 young people want to get married. The pastor's wife believes that they need to hear from God prophetically, before they may get married. So the pastor preaches that you "need a verse," instead of rebuking this unbiblical thinking.

By sharing what we've learned and how we've dealt with it, we can give them a heads' up. When it happens to them.
It's emotional. Emotions make thinking harder. Think through it before you suffer through it.

Counsel is different from "do this, do that." You are free to ignore wise advice.

There are many layers that makes the situation very complicated. That's why you take them one at a time.

Making personal experience normative—your individual experience the standard for other people—will ALWAYS lead to abuse.
If a pastor in a church is doing that, it's a personality cult.

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