Today's early waking 18/3/22

It's a change, I suppose. I have slept at 0100, and woken at 0330 rather than 4. It's a strange thing sleeping so little; there's a part of me that is becoming increasingly fatigued, but I always wake now, and I wake and think of you. It isn't pleasant. It's not something that feels kind. I feel a regret and grief, and a quite profound absence. My heart is beating in slight physical pain, it's only 69 BPM but I can feel each throb in my chest. I don't know if today's early waking is the knowled...