May 7, 2021

I haven't written for a while so I should write something.

It's been a week since increasing my dose of escitalopram oxalate to 15mg from 10mg. I've experienced dry mouth and eyes again but it is almost gone now. However, I had trouble falling asleep the past two days. Today I only had coffee near noon so I will be confirming if this sleeplessness is due to the larger dose.

My counselor connected me with the school's student health center to have a blood work done, and the tests came back normal. I will be talking with the doctor for the final time next Monday. She strongly encouraged me to take up exercising to alleviate chronic tiredness, so I'm trying to make it a habit.

I did a walk-run exercise yesterday and today using this chart as a guide. I am also trying to slowly integrate some strength training to my day—I did 3 reps of 40 wall push-ups yesterday and again 3 reps of 40 push-ups on a ledge today.

Today marks the end of my sessions with the school counselor and psychiatrist and I will be visiting another mental health practitioner later this month. I am thankful for their care and guidance ever since I have contacted Mental Health Services at the second week of the semester. Ever since my first year, I have been considering going to their services at the recommendation of my high school counselor and have done so after four years of waiting. Sometimes I feel silly about being diagnosed for mild depression (or dysthymia) since it is not life-threatening and it is possible to grind through life with the disorder. But I have to say this was the first time I was able to put my sanity as my top priority and truly try to catch what I'm really thinking. I was able to clarify what brings joy in my day. I was also able to realize that it is not shameful to stumble from my path and that I can choose paths that deviate slightly from the norm but do suit me. In retrospective, I have not changed much, but I feel a great burden has been lifted from me.

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