Poem - Waking Up

This is a poem I created when I was deep in depression due to me being unhappy with my life and me "waking up" to the reality that I was in. It is sad for me to re-read this.

I don't know what I do
I don't know who I am
All I know is I am here
Again
These late nights are killing me.
Surfing the web has truly become
exhausting.
I am in my late night feeling.
All the time.
It is funny cause I haven't truly felt anything in a while.
I had never deepened what I consumed
Now that I do it is
It is strange
I know what I see is trash and I am only avoiding boredom.
When did boredom become something to avoid?
Boredom used to liberate my mind fill it with dreams and hopes.
Now I am sat in front of a screen
Writing my feeling into the interweb
There will always be a record of this.

I am sad again. Maybe this is what I have been avoiding all along. My emotions.

-- Sapphire

12:31:00 28/07/2020