The questions people ask when you tell them you're now a Muslim

So this will depend on who they are, who they are to you, and how you tell them. In my experience -

The family member

I have a very small family so there were only a few people to tell. My parents and siblings had an idea that I had been looking into things but not how much or how long or the intention behind it.

I forget the exact context, but I believe we were all chatting together and my parents asked about me looking into things and the consideration of being a Muslim etc. I responded with something like, oh well it's not something I need to consider anymore - indicating that I had looked enough. After a bit of stumbling we confirmed that, yeah, this is because I now am Muslim.

Funnily enough, I am close with my siblings and their reaction hearing this was a bit more of surprise, mostly because I had chatted to them most days for the last couple weeks since reverting, and had talked about all kinds of life stuff but not this element which was obviously a much bigger deal. I don't think I was nervous, I was and am, fortunate enough that I had confidence my family would be at least ok with it and wouldn't cause any real issue.

Alhamdulillah, I am very lucky really, for many reverts this can be a much harder element of their process and life.

The kinds of questions I'd get here would usually be ones seeking clarification

1. So can you eat this?
2. How long do you have to starve yourself?
3. Is that your Muslim beard then?
4. So why do you do that?
5. Isn't that the same as xyz?

The questions are often laced with a bit of ignorance, but are pretty much from good intentions and interest, or rather just trying to avoid the wrong thing.

The old friend

So I actually have still not told almost all of my old friends from various workplaces, and school etc. Thinking now, I've probably told 3 outright and maybe a couple others would just assume so. Of course most people I meet these days are aware early on, or we are meeting as fellow Muslims.

I think of those 3...

1. Oh ok, well that's good.
   1. Definitely not a question, but that was that
2. Ohhhhh wowwww yayy, I'm really happy for you, awwww, that's so niceee
   1. They're very positive, not many questions there
3. Oh... Really? You? Oh ok then. Followed at a later date. 'I only ask like this because it's you and I know how it might sound but I know we know each other enough that I can ask - you were always so logical before so how did you end up with this, deciding that this is the right one?

The only real questions there was the last one - he and I used to discuss this kind of thing, but we were both atheist. You'll probably noticed like the family examples there's a bit of intent leaking through there - 'used to be logical' - kind of suggesting that I have lost my logic?

But he is a good friend and he is just curious rather than meaning offence.

That and a lot of my discussion with him this time was explaining that Islam is actually very logical.

Acquaintance, colleague etc

With this category you get a mix of casual interest, and the occasional not so good convo

1. Oh so in Ramadan you don't eat - or drink - not even water?
   1. not even water becomes a meme
2. Oh yeah but Adam's a MUSLIM
3. But why - yeah but why - but why is that - but why?

The first is the usual, just casual interest. The second is also pretty usual, usually you know them a little better and someone at work suggests going to get a load of drinks or similar. And sadly the last is more usual than it should be. To be fair - I will give the last one a lot of time, because I was once that person. The classic example of a poorly made conversation.

Past Adam would be looking to find out why, and of course he didn't agree with what he found so he would more strongly insist on WHY after that, and so on and so on. It becomes about 'YEAH BUT HOW IS THAT LOGICAL' and as soon as you end up in this territory it is difficult. Not because I believe that the logic is absent - or even hard to grasp, Islam is an easy religion in many ways (in my opinion) - but if you have that flow of chat, then the issue isn't the lack of logic - it's that whoever is asking doesn't accept, or isn't really listening. It becomes argumentative, rather than inquisitive. It is sad really - I have had conversations like this where it becomes clear very fast that the other person has a very negative view of Islam, and they are not ashamed to express it - aggressively and as publicly as they feel the need to.

On the plus side, it helps identify who is not worth my personal/professional time.

The Muslim

Of course a relatively common one since I tend to meet more people who are Muslim than I used to, and the topic of religion will always come up.

1. So how, and why did you revert?

Essentially this is one of the main ones, often expressed in different ways. I would say that nearly every single Muslim I have met and spoken to since reverting, has been really positive, supportive and encouraging.

They often follow up with things to check how I am doing, or to offer help

1. so are you doing ok with Praying?
2. I have a nice prayer matt you can take
3. have this book it will help
4. I have (various types of) a spare Quran you can have
5. Come with me to XYZ
6. etc etc

It, in my experience is a very supportive community

Bonus round - White people

I am white. Most people I have ever known are white 'British', especially growing up.

I find there is often an extra layer of surprise, there is a sense of inherent racism, active, subconscious, or otherwise laced into reactions.

A sense of 'Oh you've become religious have you...? but why did you have to choose that one?'

It gives, we accept you because of the way you look, of course, but you're not brown, so why did you doing this?

There is this thread of discomfort that can sometimes be felt that it is just, 'so different'. And as much as when I was a teenager I liked being 'different' - when it is like this it just feels off.

Throw in a load of comments like:

Ohh man, so you don't drink!? I could never manage that - well maybe....... for like a day (proceeds to laugh at own joke)

so how do you find enough to eat, cos you've gotta be like hahlal now or something now right?

and

So you pray like they do on tv? what every day? 5 times? every day? and in the night? I don't like getting up early

But this is all easy talk and easy to float through, just becomes a bit cliche