11.12.2024 - "Feelings Present"

Here, I find myself. In a place that I could begin to explain with words of matter, that ironically to how i mean it, speak of a much deeper matter. I am feeling this reality, that remembers Nicolas and Gabriel all out of wack. That is still scared of the sounds any innocent home makes because of the Kyle that broke in to my room and attacked me. Here, in of all of myself, is the boy aspiring man, who still feels inadequate for being who I am to the perception of others. Yet, I have found that here I am singing the same song over and over and over and over again. What am I mad at? What more do I want from this state and feeling that is all that I, who am is being in this moment. Like a fucking glass statue of myself afraid of me. Yet, who am I, is what i should remember to always ask myself in this moment. If it were up to me, I would have never done as I have to be where I am feeling. This is a man's world and I am feeling what a man is supposed to feel when they add accountability to their handy dandy life tool belt. So I also must accept this state of "fuckery" and of "ugh" that I am right now as something worthy of feeling on my way to becoming the gentleman I already am evolving to allow and become. With that being said, c'est la vie.

In Of Love,
Amen.