how to say no

There are two types of people on this Earth. People who can say 'no' and people who cannot. Once you learn how to do it, it becomes easier. Some people are born better at it due to their personality types, while some people really have to work at it. I think more people are bad at it than good at it. If more people were good at it, we wouldn't be as surprised when we encounter someone who is good at it. Saying no is almost a superpower.

Saying no to something today means you can say yes to something else later.

No. It is so simple. The shortest sentence that exists.

NO IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE. — Anne Lamott

You do not owe anyone an explanation. It is none of their business. You are the only one who can see the top level view of your commitments and bandwidth. Keep it simple and do not give explanations and excuses.

Another tactic that works well for me is to be clear in my refusal but ambiguous in my explanation for the refusal. — Cal Newport from Deep Work

Just say it once. And stand firm.

Never say no twice if you mean it. —Nassim Nicholas Taleb from The Bed of Procrustes

Do you want people to like you or respect you? Saying no earns you respect from the people that matter and empowers others to say no.

MAKE YOUR PEACE WITH THE FACT THAT SAYING “NO” OFTEN REQUIRES TRADING POPULARITY FOR RESPECT...— Greg McKeown from Essentialism

So many of our problems come from saying yes to things that we should have said no to. Life is so much easier when we only say yes to the things that actually resonate with us.

HALF OF THE TROUBLES OF THIS LIFE CAN BE TRACED TO SAYING YES TOO QUICKLY AND NOT SAYING NO SOON ENOUGH. —Josh Billings

Almost nothing is final. Just because you say no now does not mean you cannot say yes later. It is better to say no and then yes than to say yes and then have to back out.

When you say no now, you can come back and say yes later. — Jason Fried, David Heinemeier Hansson from It Doesn't Have to Be Crazy at Work

Differentiate between times when you are looking for new opportunities and times when you need to focus on the opportunities you already have.

The strategy required to find a great opportunity (lots of saying yes and exploring widely) is different from the strategy required to make the most of a great opportunity (lots of saying no and remaining focused). — James Clear

Remember. You are not saying no to that person as much as you are saying no to the situation. You can love and respect someone while still maintaining boundaries. In the long run, your relationship has a much better chance at surviving.

But in the field of action, if you see a poisonous serpent about to bite somebody, you kill it. That’s not saying no to the serpent, that’s saying no to that situation. —Joseph Campbell** from The Power of Myth

Good luck on your NO journey. Just remember that No is a complete sentence.