Thursday, Sep 19, 2024 at 4:57 AM

Well, as you can see by the title of this one, its about 5am here on the East Coast.

I'm at work, and I don't know. I just felt like dropping something here.

I apologize for any rando typos I might miss , I'm trying out a new keyboard. Still not completely sold on it, bc a lot og my creature comforts are missing 

Sorry, I quit on it for the time being haha no auto correct, no auto capitalization. It was kinda driving me nuts for a hot minute.

AUTOhistoria

Okay, so anyway. It's ridiculously early, and I'm at work. If you don't know anything about me, I've been working overnights for the past, well... 13 years on the 26th of this month.

Prior to that, I worked overnights in a security guard booth in college, circa 2004. Midnight-8am shift. It was shitty, and awesome at the same time. No one bothered me, for the most part. I was able to bring my Xbox, watch movies, etc. In fact, on my first shift, instead of being trained, I watched Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years 😂

This shift however, is over overnight. 7p-7a. 12 hours. 4 on, 4 off alternating schedule.

I haven't been able to commit to anything weekly in over a decade.

I am sick of this shit, let me tell you.

Look, there are some advantages to the schedule. Like being able to take only 3 days off, and have the 2 days prior, and 2 days after off as well. 3 days turns into 7.

Even if you take the 2 days off on the short week, you still get 7, bc the 2 prior, and then the off weekend of Fri/Sat/Sun.

Like I said, it does have certain advantages. I'm just fucking overrrrrr working overnights to be honest.

I do love the vibe. It's quiet, not a lot of hustle & bustle as opposed to a broadcast facility during the day time.

But I can't get any forward momentum, man. I can't get into good habits. My life is flipped upside down, consistently. And when I have to do anything during the day, it's a fucking adjustment.

DISheveled

So, I woke up way too early today for my shift tonight. Like 1230pm early. So, I ordered Indian food, and waited about an hour for it to show up. Ate a little bit of it, bc I woke up starving. Went back to sleep for a little bit. Would ya know, I set two fucking alarms, knowing that I might not hear one

...and I didn't fuckin' hear either of 'em.

I woke up an hour before I had to be in.

LOS WELPOS.

At least I didn't wake up an hour and a half late, with my a big manager ringing my doorbell to make sure I'm alive, this time... Yep, I fucking suck.

Anyway, since I was about to leave my house, I've felt like my whole energy was off, like extra putzy, not as clear as I could be mentally. Just... off, man.

Really can't wait to smoke, and get to sleep.

And then fucking Donald Trump had to do a rally tonight at the Isles old Barn, Nassau Coliseum.

DAMpening

So, since 2016, all of our lives have been pretty much affected in one way or another by the worsening landscape of American Politics.

It's become my burden. I've gotten multiple Twitter accounts suspended for yelling at idiots. I mean, not that it means anything since Twitter's been taken over by an obscenely rich fucking scumfuck.

Now a days, crypto schemes, trash supplements, prepper bullshit and sex chat lines are the majority of companies willing to advertise on the dumpster.

I really wish I was able to drive past the rally tonight, and fire eggs and potatoes into the crowd from Hempstead Turnpike.

The "maga" movement, and I won't even dignify it with capital letters, has dragged this nation straight into the fucking toilet.

I forgot my point. My point, was that ever since the 2016 campaign season, I've been a such a piece of fucking shit online. Oh my God. It's astonishing.

But I don't want to be that person, bc I feel like it seeps into the rest of my life. And then I wind up fucking mad about dumb bullshit that I don't need to be wasting energy on. So I smoke weed. And I've been smoking more and more outside of the designated before bed hours, to take the edge off life. I'm at least slightly less on edge, animated, and fucking driving myself fucking insane when I'm a little lifted. I'm not getting fucking blasted haha nah. Just a couple rips off the ol' penjamin throughout the night, helps keep me right.. Hahaha God fucking damnit, I'm the fucking worst.

Well, anyway...

I feel like I'm starting to broach content that I should either save for another brain dump, or put in a whole other section itself.

Ehh, whatever. I'll end it here, bc I'm just fuckin'... Idk. Shift's almost over, and I gotta gather myself for the 12 minute drive I have home 😂

I appreciate'cha.