How to process Resentment Safely
July 19, 2025•371 words
2025.7.15 (part 3)
Question:
How do I process my anger or resentment without becoming consumed by it, or acting destructively on it?
Anger is a messenger, not a monster. The goal isn’t to deny it or unleash it, but to listen to it safely and channel it meaningfully.
Solution:
📍 What you’ll need:
A quiet space
Pen and paper (or digital notes / voice memo app)
Timer (optional)
🕯️ 1. Create a Safe Space (2 minutes)
Find somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed. Take 3 slow, deep breaths.
Say to yourself (in your mind or out loud):
“It’s okay to feel this. I don’t have to judge or fix it. Just notice.”
✍️ 2. Acknowledge + Name It (5–7 minutes)
Take a piece of paper and write freely using these prompts:
“I feel angry or resentful about…”
“What they did that hurt me was…”
“What I wish they had done instead…”
“What I needed back then but didn’t get…”
Don’t edit or soften—be real, raw, messy.
You can rip the paper later if that makes it easier to write honestly.
💡 You can set a 7-minute timer to keep this bounded.
🔥 3. Let It Move (3–5 minutes)
Choose one of these:
Tense and release: Tense every muscle in your body for 10 seconds, then release. Repeat twice.
Music discharge: Put on one intense song and let your body move—shake, stomp, punch a pillow, anything.
Voice: Say (out loud): “I am angry because…” Repeat it with force a few times—even whispering counts if you're not alone.
This lets your body express what your mind carries.
🧭 4. Reflect + Reclaim (3–5 minutes)
Now write or say:
“What this emotion is trying to protect in me is…”
“What I value, and what got violated, is…”
“Now I choose to…” (e.g. let go, set boundaries, protect myself, seek fairness elsewhere)
Example:
“My anger is trying to protect my need to feel respected. I value fairness and recognition. I choose to honour those needs moving forward, even if they didn’t.”
Finish with a deep breath.
Optional: Destroy or Save
You can burn, rip, or delete what you wrote—symbolic release.
Or keep it in a “truth folder” as a record of self-awareness and growth.